Forever Jaded
by mypieceofmind
Summary: What if the death of Misaki's parents caused a different personality in him? What if Usami was supposed to be the one to save him from his path of promiscuity and partying? Will Usami still fall in love with someone so jaded? A Misaki who cares about no one around him? A Misaki with a stunning smile, a wicked aura, and body to die for? Rated M chapters to come! :)
1. Prologue: Jaded

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Prologue: Jaded**

13 years ago, their parents died in a car accident. The elder brother…Takahiro (now 31), dutifully took care of his younger brother…Misaki (now 21), without complaining once. They cared deeply for each other, but after the accident, Misaki was never the same. He remained top of his class, but his attitude was jaded and over the past three years, it had only gotten worse.

Misaki had always been a fan of the female species. He was average in height and stature, but wickedly beautiful nonetheless. He had stunning green eyes, messy chestnut brown hair, and a seemingly irresistible smile. He was currently a sophomore at Mitsuhashi University in Tokyo, again, top of his class.

Takahiro was not concerned with his academics, he was actually rather proud, but lately he was becoming more and more concerned with his little brothers actions. There were no drugs involved, at least none that he was aware of, and only occasional partying…although his drinking was becoming a little more than recreational and Takahiro was lost at how to get through to him.

* * *

Misaki was certainly jaded…that he himself was well aware of. Since his parents accident was his fault, and he stole his beloved older brothers youth…how could he not be jaded. After he turned 18 and started at Mitsuhashi, he inadvertently lost himself in exploring as many pleasures as possible. He had taken a few virginities in high school, but the junior and senior college girls were a much more tantalizing challenge.

Sex and alcohol…those he was good at…and in college, there was a never ending supply. However, the less fulfilled he felt, the more erratically he started to search. All his life he was empty. It wasn't that he was a loner, he had lots of friends (and fan clubs for that matter), just deep down inside no matter how hard he tried, he remained empty and jaded. He had no interest in the people around him, at least not for very long, and faking his breathtaking smile was beginning to be exhausting.

He searched desperately for human contact, believing that one day someone would set his skin ablaze…yet with each and every woman that passed…the icier his heart became. He had grown overcomingly bored with using his suave demeanor to nab women that would never matter. There were even a few men, that in a drunken slur of boldness, he allowed himself to tease a little…but they never mattered either. Love was just a distant concept that he yearned for, but gave up on long ago. He told himself, if anyone didn't deserve to be loved…it was most assuredly him.

Yep, he was jaded…most defiantly…inexplicably…jaded.

* * *

Takahiro sat back on the couch observing his little brother carefully, trying desperately to devise a plan to help his brother break free from the dark aura engulfing him. Misaki had just come in from class, and was now standing at the table reading one of his new favorite novels.

He stood at about 5'10" and weighed about 145 pounds. His chestnut hair was wisped incoherently over his face. His soft jawline was tilted upwards, allowing the kitchen light to bounce off it rather intricately. His deep green eyes were focused intently on the words before him, and even half-lidded as he concentrated they were sparkling and intense.

He was wearing a black button up shirt, that slightly fell over one shoulder more than the other as he leaned against the chair for support, and the top several buttons were undone…revealing his smooth milky chest ever so delicately. His shirt was untucked from his baggy dark denim jeans, and the top of his boxers were showing on one side, also showing one side of the V that was created by his toned abdomen and his sharp hip bones.

Takahiro had to admit, it was evident why the girls swooned over his little brother…he was attractive to say the least, and in many forms of the word…beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, Takahiro finally came up with an idea to set his brother on the right path. He smiled, a big wide smile, when the thought came to mind…

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2: December

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

A/N: the _italics_ are the thoughts in Misaki's head

**December**

"Excuse Me? I'm sorry Nii-chan…what did you just say?" He could not believe what he was hearing…

"Look, I know this is awkward, but my company is moving me to Osaka and you can't commute to school from there, so a really good friend of mine said you could stay with him…you'll be meeting him later…I want you and him to be the first to hear my good news" Takahiro smiled at his younger brother, praying in his heart that his best friend, whom he trusted so much, could somehow change his brother's life.

Takahiro's smile made Misaki halt his arguments. Misaki hated the idea of living with someone he didn't know, but with his brother smiling at him like that…there was no point in fighting it…he knew he'd cave. _This is complete bullshit,_ _but I guess it could be worse. Shower…I need a shower…_

"I'm taking a shower, but I'll be down in a little bit. I hope this friend of yours is at least an interesting individual…" Misaki lugged himself up the stairs feeling rather defeated. He just loved his brother too much to fight him. The only two soft spots he had in wicked soul were for his brother, and for the idea of love.

* * *

Moments later, while Misaki was finishing up in the shower…

"Takahiro!" Usami Akihiko said excitedly as he threw his arms around his unrequited love of 10 years. He clung desperately to Takahiro's shoulders and neck, ignoring the footsteps above him. Why he was there didn't matter much to him, but being with Takahiro was worth the nuisance of coming over.

"Akihiko…come now…no clinging…my brother will be down in a few minutes…" Takahiro said laughing. He was used to his best friend's clinging behavior.

As Misaki made his way back down the stairs he could hear the shuffling of bodies in the hallway. It peaked his interest…but not enough for him to remove the towel from his head, drying his hair was much more important at the moment.

"Ah! Misaki…you're finally out…I'd like you to meet my best friend…Usami Akihiko." Takahiro said still trying to pull the much taller man from his neck.

He was half amused…half stunned at the sight before him. Here he was, standing at the bottom of the stairs with nothing but jogging pants on and a towel around his shoulders…and a very obviously gay man was clinging to his brother's shoulders…he couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

Misaki studied his soon-to-be roommate carefully. Usami was much taller than his brother; he had to be over 6 foot. He had silky silver hair that captured the light above him and reflected it smoothly around the room. His face was mature…and kind of…pretty. His eyes were sharp, and a stunning shade of violet. It was almost like staring at an amethyst crystal. He had broad shoulders and a toned but slender frame. He raised his brow in response to Misaki's glare.

* * *

"Hmmm," Akihiko said eyeing the boy in front of him then looking to Takahiro, "So this is your little brother…he looks nothing like you…" Usami couldn't help but admire though. He was most definitely in love with Takahiro, but his little brother was no less than mouthwatering. He trailed his eyes from the boy's long legs (unfortunately covered by loose jogging pants) up to the V shaped dip on his abdomen (which was flat and toned)…his eyes continued upward over the milky skin of the boy's uncovered torso, up his slender neck to his soft jawline. He was most impressed with Misaki's face however…his lips were full and light pink, his hair was messy and damp, draped clumsily over his forehead…and his eyes…they were deep green and very intense.

_Well, sorry I don't look like my brother asshole_…Misaki leaned his body up against the cool wall and gave this egotistical man a sly sideways smile…"It's nice to meet you Usami Akihiko…Nii-chan you never told me you had a gay friend…" He knew my brother was hopelessly oblivious…and he was pretty sure that Usami didn't want Takahiro to know, so he decided to let his deviant side show through and have a little fun with the situation.

Yep, he was right, after those facial expressions…he was sure of it, "Misaki, Akihiko is not gay…and that was rude…now please…both of you please come sit in the living room, I have a bit of good news to share…I'll be in there in just a moment." Takahiro finally released himself from Usami's grasp and ushered both the men into the living room…leaving them sitting in silence as he went to retrieve his surprise.

* * *

"So…U-sa-mi…how long have you been in love with my brother?" His voice was calm and cool as he leaned forward and grabbed his current reading exhibition off the table. Disregarding the smart-ass tone…and the fact that the young man's voice sounded like honey, dripping through his ears…Akihiko cut his violet eyes at Misaki before giving a response.

"10 years. Not that it is any of your concern." He was annoyed. A) Who did this kid think he was talking to him like that and B) how the hell did he learn to spot a gay man so effortlessly.

"Really? You do know he has a girlfriend?" Wow, 10 years is a long time…Misaki felt his heart twinge in his chest a little. He felt bad for him…devoted for 10 years…to a love he could never have. The sadness that seeped through those violet eyes caught him a little off guard. Just the thought of how Usami must feel made his heart break. _Why oh why am I always so damn…sensitive when it comes to love…it turns my twisted personality into jelly…_

"I know." His voice was low, and resonated with pain…yanking Misaki out of his thoughts. "But I am just fine with the way things are now. Sometimes being a friend is a gift…it gives you the ability to stay by someone you love." Akihiko wondered why in the world he was even having this conversation with a kid, barely old enough to even know what love is, a kid he didn't even know…he was caught up in this boy's spell…and it pissed him off.

The silence in the room was almost unbearable, Misaki tried to stay focused on his book…but the passage he was reading made things even worse…

A million petals fall to the ground, one for each day that I've loved you.

I can only watch from my spot beside you, as you fall to someone else.

These tears I grant for no one but myself.

This pain I grant for no one but me.

As I watch the wind blow the petals far from my reach.

He closed the book quickly and rubbed his now throbbing head with his hand. He asked himself why he was even feeling for this man…

because you don't deserved to be loved, and you know how it feels to reach for it – and never grasp it_._ – a small voice screamed at him.

_Ahhh! These thoughts piss me off. I will one day find…and slaughter that little voice!_ He then tried to change the situation.

"So you're an author right?" _God, what a dumbass question…I have some of his novels…couldn't I have thought of something better to say! _

"Hmm. Yeah." Misaki saw pain erupt on Usami's face…and he couldn't watch it anymore.

* * *

Before Misaki could even open his mouth his "way-to-oblivious" brother bounded into the room and said (rather loudly), "Misaki! Akihiko! I want you meet Manami…We have decided to get married!" Takahiro wore the most obscenely bright smile as he stared at the two men.

A twinge of deep pain gleamed behind Usami's eyes, but he recovered quickly. "Ah. Takahiro, you finally decided to tie the knot. Congratulations! And she is so cute too." Akihiko said placing his hand on Takahiro's shoulder and smiling down at the love of his life's fiancé.

_WHAT?! IS THIS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL US…TO TELL USAMI…_Misaki stopped himself from swinging at his brother. He had never in his life seen Takahiro do something so damn insensitive!

"I am so glad to hear you say that Akihiko…I wanted you to be the first person I told." Takahiro said politely.

_Oh fuck this…_Misaki slammed the book he was holding onto the table in front of him…hard.

Everyone turned to look at him with wide, stunned eyes. His brother was in absolute disbelief. Misaki grabbed his black tee off the chair in the kitchen and threw it on, followed by his pure white hoodie.

"Champagne…(_I have to come up with an excuse fast, I need to get out of here_)…I'll go get some, we should celebrate this occasion properly."

Akihiko noticed the dark, obviously fake, smile that appeared on Misaki's face. The boy was angry. He knew Takahiro wouldn't notice it, but he did. This kid was as good at hiding his emotions as he was… Before, he knew it…Misaki grabbed his wrist and tugged him quickly towards the door.

_I know he needs to get out of here too…shit_…"Usami, why don't come with me…we'll be back in a minute." _I cannot believe I am yanking this man out of my house right now…but…but…it's just so awful…his heart has got to be in pieces._

* * *

The two exited the house and headed out into the snow, Misaki still gripping Akihiko's wrist, tugging him along quickly. After walking for 5 minutes in silence, Misaki finally released Akihiko and stopped just underneath a street light. Hot liquid began to fall slowly down his pale, cold cheek.

_Shit, I'm actually crying…this is ridiculous, and embarrassing…what the hell am I doing right now? _

Misaki turned, slightly panting, and looked at Usami, who was surprised to see tears slowly falling from the emerald eyes across from him. His heart skipped, and then sped up. He had an overwhelming desire to reach out to this boy, whom he didn't even know, and embrace him. He could feel his own tears welling up inside.

"I'm sorry Usami-san. I...I...don't know what came over me…I…I just got so pissed. Nii-chan has NEVER been so insensitive before…if he wasn't so damn clueless…(Misaki just stood there, not bothering to wipe the tears from his cheeks)…I mean he wanted you to be the first he told…that's just cruel…I just had get out of there…get _you_ out of there…"

Misaki's voice was low and strong, he did not waver through his tears, and simply lowered his head and leaned back against the light pole…watching the snowflakes dance to the ground below him.

* * *

Catching his breath was harder than he thought it'd be. The cold air almost burned. _God, I must look like an absolute idiot right now_. His thoughts spun through his head, swirling uncontrollably. Suddenly, without him realizing it, Akihiko approached him. He felt a cool hand caress his wet cheek. Usami's hands were cool, but still much warmer than air around him…and they were large…large enough to engulf the whole side of his face.

He closed his eyes, and savored the feeling of his skin burning under Usami's touch. Lost in that moment, he let his eyes open and meet the violet pair now staring down at him. He could feel his heart start to race. He was even trembling a little.

Speechless, he couldn't say anything, only stand paralyzed by those violet crystals of his. He wanted to touch him. _What the hell is this…never once I have I been this close to man (not sober at least), and I have never wanted to touch back…what is this urge to touch him._ He didn't have control of his body…his hand reached up and landed on Usami's soft, cold face.

Then, Akihiko pressed his lips against Misaki's, earning a small moan of surprise. It was a soft, gentle kiss, at first, and Misaki pressed back…enjoying the warmth of Usami's lips on his somewhere deep down inside. He felt Usami's tongue graze against his bottom lip, and without thinking, gave him room to explore. Their hot tongues danced, causing waves of pleasure to cascade down Misaki's body.

Shock took him over. He was suspended in this hazy moment, barely able to hang on to reality. This was not normal for him…in any sense of the word, but yet he couldn't stop himself.

The kiss ended…leaving both men breathless. Akihiko then lowered his head onto Misaki's shoulder, "I have never allowed anyone to see me cry, not since I was born…you, only you…will ever see me this way." With that, Misaki began to feel heated droplets soak through his jacket and tinge his skin…he made no attempt to remove his hand from its position, now tangled in strands of glimmering silver hair. He simply stood beneath the bright street light and falling snow…allowing Usami Akihiko to cry silently on his shoulder.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3: Eavesdropping

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Eavesdropping **

It had been a mere 3 days since Akihiko moved his unrequited love of 10 year's little brother into his home as a favor…he was told that Takahiro wanted Usami to help bring Misaki off his troubled path, but Akihiko was not really seeing where the problem was.

Misaki got up every morning, cooked breakfast (fabulously), cleaned and did chores, then left for school. Upon returning home, he would read quietly…do any work that was required of him…then prepare dinner. Misaki hadn't even mentioned the passionate kiss that Akihiko gave him in a moment of vulnerability.

_I don't understand what is so destructive about his personality…he seems fine to me…_

Akihiko exited his study after finishing his latest chapter, he was rather surprised by the sounds and smells he was greeted with. He stood at the top of the stairs and leaned on the rail. He watched quietly…trying to notice anything self-destructive about the boy in the kitchen.

* * *

Bach played soothingly over the speakers of Misaki's i-phone dock. He moved gracefully through the kitchen, utterly focused on the task at hand. Without warning, the music quieted and a small beep emitted from the speakers. Misaki swiped the front of the phone, "Hello." His voice was smooth and low.

"Hey Mi-sa-ki!" a young woman's voice came elegantly through the speakers. She spoke with a hint of happiness and teasing in her voice. "What are you doing? I have missed you."

"Hmmm, Saki, when do you not miss me? And I'm in the middle of cooking right now, do you need something?" Misaki didn't sway from his task, even in the slightest.

"I want to see you…like…right now. Please?" She was almost begging. It made Akihiko laugh inwardly.

"I can't tonight…how about…(Misaki pushed a button on his phone and scrolled around a little bit.)…maybe Friday?" He swiftly moved back to the cutting bored and began slicing vegetables.

"You know…Misaki…I have asked you this before…(Misaki looked at the phone, his expression said he knew what was coming…this made Akihiko lean in and listen a little closer)…but you know I really do love you, and I don't know why you won't date me…I mean we have been…y-you know…for a few years now…and I just…" her voice was almost sad, and it even pulled at Akihiko's heart.

Misaki cut her off before she could finish, he slammed the knife down onto the cutting bored, "Saki, don't…I don't have the capability to do that…please…you deserve someone who will love you, and it will never be me." Misaki's head was tilted down low. Usami could visibly see the pain move through the boy's body. His shoulder's tensed and his hands shook. His deep brown hair hooded over his eyes, leaving a sad shadow to hang over his face.

Akihiko wondered why in the world Misaki said something like that…why his whole body resonated pain and regret. What on earth was going through this young boy's mind.

"I have to go…but I'll call you Friday…ok" Misaki picked the knife back up and continued with his work.

"ok…sure…Friday then…Misaki…I love you…" you could almost hear the tears begging to drip from her eyes freely, but she held them in.

"hmm…" Misaki let the sound slip quietly through his mouth before leaning over and hanging up the phone…Bach began to play softly through the speakers once again.

* * *

Just as Akihiko was about to allow his presence to be known, a small beep once again interrupted the beautiful piano concerto.

"Hello." Misaki said once again, not stopping his work.

"Misaki! Hey baby…you dtf?" this girls voice was loud and…well…kind of slutty.

"When am I not dtf Mei? But not tonight…how about 1 am Saturday? You down?" Misaki flicked another burner on and placed a pot of water over it as he spoke.

"Yeah. Sounds good! See you then, lo-ver" the girls reply was quick and she hung up right after getting her answer…_What the hell does 'dtf' mean?_ Akihiko could not help but wonder what in the world was happening in his kitchen.

* * *

Bach filled the room once again. Once that piece finished, a new kind of music emanated from the speakers…it was Euterpe by egoist…a version with only the piano in the background. Akihiko moved to the stairs, before once again freezing at the sound of that tell-tale small beep.

"Hello." This time Misaki sounded a little more irritated.

"Did I piss you off or something, Misaki?" This time it was a male's voice that came through the speakers.

"No, No. it's just been a long couple of minutes. What's up man?" Misaki sounded relieved to hear this new voice on the phone.

"I'm working on a case study…have the time to help me out for minute?"

"Hm…sure…shoot…" again Misaki made no move to slow his work in the kitchen.

"Ok, I'm sending the EKG strip and CXR to your phone now. Here is the heart auscultation…(an unfamiliar sound began thumping erratically through the speakers…Misaki paused only for a moment to listen intently to the sound)…and here are the lung auscultations…(another new sound echoed through the kitchen, lasting only a few seconds)…it is a 10 year old boy, vitals read 120 – 26 – 142/88 with no complaints of pain, no fever. Nausea and vomiting for 3 days, loss of appetite, prior complaints of shoulder pain, night sweats, chills, swelling in the hands and ankles periodically…" the man's voice was almost in a ramble. Misaki quickly cut him off after looking at the pictures he received moments earlier.

"Tell me what has happened to him in the past 3 months…anything significant?" Misaki sounded incredibly focused, his tone very serious…

"His mother passed away…" the other voice was clearly reading off of something, relaying the information to Misaki's diligent ears.

"No labs in criticals, correct?"…Misaki was nodding his head…he received confirmation of his question with an agreeing noise over the speakers…

"It's Takotsubo cardiomyopathy." Misaki returned to his work in the kitchen with no hesitation in his voice at all.

"Seriously…" the still un-named male said, obviously struggling to figure out how Misaki got that answer.

"Yeah. The ST-elevation and V-tach shown on the EKG is normally seen in an MI, however with the lab values not being over moderately elevated, no real complaints of chest pain, as well as the pulmonary edema heard in the left lower lobe auscultation, accompanied by the 'whoosh' in the S2 heart sound and the fact that his mother recently passed away…there is no way it is anything other than what is commonly referred to as 'The broken heart syndrome' or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy." Misaki, once again, spoke without doubt.

"Ah! I see…wow, I still don't know why you didn't come to medical school with me…you'd make a good doctor you know?" the other voice replied, sounding as though he was wearing a smile.

"Not my field Nowaki…we have had this discussion…thanks for the offer though." Misaki smiled at his own comment.

"It really does not surprise me that you could point out the broken heart syndrome before anyone else…you we eventually…" Misaki gave Nowaki no more room to speak, he simply sighed (loudly), and upon hearing this, Nowaki ended his words, "I know, I know…not now…you always say that though. Don't get pissy Misaki…we still going drinking tomorrow?"

"Yeah. But I'm in the middle of cooking, so can I text you in a bit?" Misaki said finally winding down dinner.

"Sure, thanks for the help again…please…just…nevermind…I'll text you later." With that, Nowaki hung up the phone.

* * *

Akihiko noticed the hint of longing behind this Nowaki boy's voice. It made him even more curious. Before the phone could interrupt again…he launched himself down the stairs, catching Misaki by surprise.

Misaki jumped a little when he heard a thud coming from the living room. He tensed his fists up before he even had time to think. "Shit Usami! You startled me. Dinner will be done in a minute, I promise when this song is over I'll turn off the music. I hope it wasn't bothering you."

"It's ok. I'll just be at the table then." Misaki nodded silently, watching his tall roommate slink into a chair across from him.

Dinner was pretty quiet. Akihiko couldn't stop thinking about the young man who was sitting across from him. In the course of only several minutes he had a call from a girl in love with him, a slut asking him something about 'dtf' whatever that meant, and a call from a man with hidden desires in which Misaki figured out and then diagnosed a patient in a case study in mere moments. What was this kid anyway? He was overwhelmingly intelligent, quiet, friendly, dark, complex, mysterious, caring, despondent, and incredibly sexy…what the hell?

After dinner, Misaki cleaned up then lounged on the couch…picking up another one of his books. Akihiko watched as Misaki then sunk into the couch bringing one of his feet up and resting it on the edge. He was wearing a plain white button up shirt and pair of loose jeans that were snug only around his hips. Akihiko decided it was time to ease the tension in the room.

"Shall we drink…" he offered, hoping to strike the boy's interest.

"Way ahead of you," Misaki said as he pulled a deep purple flask from his jean pocket. He smiled wryly, meeting Akihiko's gaze with a gleam in his deep green eyes.

Little did Usami Akihiko know that he had officially opened Pandora's box…and he was soon to be in for a rather interesting night.

To Be Continued.


	4. Chapter 4: Erotic Sensations

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Erotic Sensations**

"Where did that flask come from?" Akihiko asked, wondering why in the world he had a flask in his pocket like it was normal…and how long Misaki had been drinking before he even noticed it.

"It came from my pocket," Misaki smiled a smart-ass smile that irritated Akihiko for a little bit. "I had a…friend…who gave this to me as a gift when they came back from America…I just…enjoy keeping close, that's all."

Akihiko could not help but notice that Misaki's eyes had a particular emotion shining behind them, but he could just not put a finger on what that emotion was…instead he wrote it off in his mind and tried to lighten the conversation.

"Well it is an intriguing color, if I do say so myself," Akihiko admired the deep purple shine of the flask in Misaki's hands…thinking that if it were only a little lighter, it would match his eyes perfectly.

"It is a beautiful color…" Misaki said, admiring the color as well…again, Akihiko sensed that unknown emotion, taking another sip of the sake that he poured.

"What is your poison exactly, if I may ask…" Misaki quirked at his question, thinking that Usami really does speak like his from another time…that's a writer for you I guess.

"Depends on the trouble I am begging myself to get into…currently it is an imported brand of liquor called Tequila." Misaki's soft lips curled into a teasing smile, his eyes gleamed playfully.

"Oh, is that so, so what is the trouble that accompanies that particular liquor?" Akihiko was amused at the young man's choice of words.

"Sex." Misaki answered, not taking his eyes away from Usami's_. Could he be more blunt? And why in the hell is that the kind of trouble he wants to get into_…Akihiko's own lips then curled into a quirked smile…_well if that's what he wants…I'd be more than happy to oblige._

"Ah…is that so?" Akihiko was kind of into to playing this game, who knew he'd be beat out at what he thought was his most perfected adventure.

"It is." Misaki said rising up off the couch, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt. He walked lazily over to where Akihiko sat, on a bar stool at the kitchen island. Even though Akihiko was watching the boy's every move…the suddenness of his next actions were too quick for him to catch. Somehow Misaki had managed to get much closer than Akihiko realized.

* * *

Misaki placed one of his legs in between Usami's, pressing deep into his thigh…right next to his now hardening cock. He placed both hands on either side of Akihiko's body, resting his weight on his hands that were pressed against the slick marble top behind his roommate.

Misaki knew that Usami was gay…he also knew that he had the ability to even drive the same sex crazy. Perhaps it was only the Tequila, but perhaps, just perhaps it was the desire to feel his skin burning under Usami's touch again that drove him to act so…seductively. That was the most vivid memory he had of his previous shocking encounter with Usami that snowy night, the burning his skin felt under this man's touch…he was dying to know if it was only due to the cold that surrounded him that night, or if it was something else.

Leaning in close, Misaki whispered into the elder man's ear, "How much fun are willing to endure, with someone who is not my brother?"

His question struck two chords in Akihiko's soul…the first was that of sexual intrigue. Misaki's low voice seemed to roll of his tempting tongue too smoothly for even a writer's words, intensifying the desire within him. The other was that of heart-breaking pain…pain that vibrated its way all through Akihiko's body…making him tremble within.

* * *

Without receiving an answer to his question, Misaki continued, he lifted one of hands and placed it on Usami's forehead, his fingers resting just barely into the silky silver strands of his hair. Misaki then let his fingers travel further into the soft trove atop Usami's head. Once he reached the back of his head, Misaki gripped those silky strands, tugging gently…causing Usami's head to lean back and reveal his milky neck.

Akihiko let out a small moan as he dipped his head backward in response to Misaki's gentle tug. His heart was nearly bounding out of his chest…erasing the glints of pain that he was feeling before, and allowing the sexual desire consume him. Another moan, this one a little deeper, escaped his mouth as he felt Misaki's warm lips barely land on his neck's most sensitive area. His skin was being overwhelmed with tingles that traveled up and down his tense body_. How was he able to elicit such feeling without even kissing someone_, Akihiko was unsure…nor did he care at the present moment.

Pleased by the noises Usami was making, Misaki pushed a little further. His knee pressed deeper into the man's rock hard erection…he slowly let his tongue taste the cool skin of Usami's neck. The man groaned with appreciation, making Misaki smile a small wicked smile. With one hand still in Usami's hair…Misaki brought the other one to meet with Usami's stomach. He let his fingers graze over the slight toned set of abs while teasing and nipping at Usami's sensitive neck.

Feeling like he had tempted the older man long enough, Misaki ceased his torture of Usami's neck and slowly brought their lips together. He kissed him deeply, slowly, passionately…and found himself moaning into Usami's mouth when the man placed his large hands under his shirt and onto his hips. The skin underneath Usami's hands burned with intensity. It felt like ice had been placed on each hip…pressing in…staying too long…and causing a pleasurable stinging sensation on his skin. That was the confirmation he needed…

* * *

Misaki pulled out of the kiss, his heart still racing out of control. "Ya know…they say longing for someone…letting the inexplicable desire fill your being…focusing only on the small places touched by a tempter…can be an extremely erotic sensation…Akihiko." Misaki spoke at an almost inaudible volume directly into Usami's ear, before biting softly then disappearing from view.

With the sound of his given name rolling off that perfect tongue, and the gentle pressure of Misaki's teeth on his ear…for the first time ever, Akihiko came…with his cock still completely hidden…untouched and throbbing. He was smothered. Smothered by the aching feelings left on his skin; smothered by the swirling images in his mind; smothered by an induplicable desire. He was lost in waves of pleasure and unforgettable sensations. Never in his life had he been so intensely teased by anyone.

He was left alone at his kitchen island. The memory of each event replaying in his head; his body still over reacting. He was falling…fast…and hard…deeply in lust, even love…with this troubled youth who so effortlessly just tapped into all of his secret desires.

And over the next few days…his feelings for him would grow and grow as he discovered even more reasons to be amazed, and utterly astounded by Takashi Misaki…a man who said he didn't have the capability to love…a man still shrouded in mystery and a haunted aura…Usami wanted so much to uncover the things that shaped his new companion…but oh how painful this fateful encounter may possibly become.

To be continued

* * *

**a/n: to the kind individuals who have reviewed my work….thank you so, so much…I really, really appreciate it…please keep giving me the encouragement I need to keep writing…I am not very confident in my personal talent for this…so every comment is a welcome piece of encouragement for me. If even one person is enjoying my story, then I have the drive to keep going. **

**I loved Junjou Romantica…however a few aspects bothered me.**

**Misaki's personality…I wanted him to be dreamy, perfect, sexy, even to me**

**Usagi's reason's for loving him…I wanted Usagi to fall for him for a number of reasons…not just that he cried for him**

**Misaki's sexual experience…I wanted him to more experienced, that way he could tease and be seductive**

**I wanted to see what I could do with a different outlook on how Misaki handled the death of his parents**

**Finally, I had so many idea's for drama that I could incorporate into the already fantastic situations provided by the series itself**

**So if there are any suggestions…please by all means p-m me…I love adding other people's ideas who share my passion.**

**Thanks again so much and I hope you continue to read and comment!**

**Signed, **

**Mypieceofmind – Jess B.**


	5. Chapter 5: A Bleeding Melody

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**A bleeding melody**

"What the hell do you mean you're going to need a knife?!" A very young girl yelled as she entered the mansion like apartment following Misaki. Behind her trailed an extremely tall male with midnight blue hair and matching eyes.

"Just trust him…I have seen him do this once before…although I am second guessing allowing him to teach you…" the tall man said trying to ease the worry in the small girl's heart, but horribly hiding the doubt in his own.

Akihiko was stunned, and so was his editor, Eri Aikawa. He put the paper he was reading down on the coffee table, and watched the scene unfold. Aikawa stood, completely lost. Akihiko was slightly irritated that these people were now in his home…and he had no clue who they were.

"Sorry Usami, they will be gone momentarily…this is Nowaki, my best friend, and his younger sister…Mina. He is a first year medical student, 23 and she is a high school sophomore, 16" Misaki didn't even look his way as he spoke (which is why he didn't even notice the red-headed woman staring at him carefully)…he only made his way to the kitchen, searching through a drawer of knives.

"Play." Misaki said, apparently addressing the girl…who Akihiko just noticed was carrying a violin. Misaki's voice left no room for argument.

"But…I…I…c—can't…it's too embarrassing…I mean…it's your song…and…I…" she thought about what she was saying and ended abruptly. Sighing, she lifted the delicate instrument to her chin. As she did, Misaki walked over, carrying a small knife…he slit his index finger and dropped blood on all four of her strings.

"Play it…" he said waiting for her to begin. The young girl nervously began to play a beautiful melody. "Watch the blood…see how it is staying in place…" Misaki pointed at the pools of blood, standing still and starting to dry as she played.

He reached out and took the violin, wiping the blood off with a soft rag. "Now watch what happens when I play it…" he cut another slit into the same finger and again dropped blood on all four strings. As he lifted the instrument up to his chin, Nowaki's eyes lit up. Akihiko and Aikawa watched intently.

* * *

Misaki began to play the same melody the young girl had played moments before him. "Watch the blood…" he said as he gracefully moved the bow. The blood was trickling down the strings. The violin was singing the melody…and the entire room fell silent around him. He seemed almost untouchable as the music resonated from the strings.

The blood never stopped moving. Finally all four drops hit the bow and rocked back and forth beautifully as he played. Akihiko, as well as the others watching, was in complete awe. The music seemed to reach into to the depths of the soul, pulling out wave after wave of shapeless emotion.

Suddenly, he stopped, wiping away the blood with the same soft cloth as before. Mina stared up at him with deep burgundy eyes, she was utterly speechless…she had never heard the instrument played so achingly beautiful before.

All Akihiko could think was that Misaki never ceased to amaze him. He once thought that due to his writing…he was rather talented. Now he realized that he could not even hold a candle to the boy who just played a song like that on the violin…and a song that he apparently wrote. Hell, Bach and Mozart would be speechless, he was certain of that.

* * *

"Mina, you have to let your violin be alive. It has to bleed when it sings any melody you play. This song was written with a story to tell…and if you want to play it correctly, you must learn to let your violin feel each emotion with you…do you understand?" Mina was too entranced by the deep green eyes holding her in place from above her. All she could manage was to shake her head no.

"Damn, your brother is going to kick my ass after this, but I will not allow you to play my song without understanding the story you are telling." As soon as those words left Misaki's mouth, he quickly began to act…taking everyone by surprise…everyone except Nowaki that is.

Misaki lifted the small girl up by her thighs and swiftly placed her onto the kitchen island. His face was only centimeters from hers. When he spoke, his lips just barely caressed hers, "Focus…Focus on everything your body is feeling."

Mina trembled. Her heart was racing, aching. Her hands were shaking. Her breathing was heavy and uneven because of Misaki's proximity to her. Her skin tingled. Every pore was over-sensitized, soaking in the warmth that radiated off Misaki's thick frame. His breath brushed against her lips, his own lips fluttering against hers as he spoke, "remember this Mina…all of this," he said in a low, sultry tone. His voice resonated through her body…seeping into her mind mixing with his icy scent…causing her mind to haze over.

* * *

Akihiko was far past stunned. Without realizing it, he had brought himself to a standing position in front of the couch…standing next to him was the tall man called Nowaki. Across from him was a now star-struck Aikawa. He turned to Nowaki, who was gritting his teeth a little. "What the hell is going on?" Akihiko asked, being sure to not disturb the two now plastered against one another in his kitchen.

Nowaki leaned down, speaking low…"I have only ever seen him do this once, just watch." He raised himself back up, eyeing the scene in the kitchen.

"Can you remember it?" Misaki asked, studying the deep eyes before him. Mina nodded slowly…her body filled with desire. "Good." Misaki placed his hands on her hips and set her in front of him on the floor. "Now play it again."

The young girl did as she was told, still wrapped in Misaki's trace. Her notes were being played a little better this time, the violin was starting to sing the way it was supposed to. Misaki was still not satisfied. He placed himself behind her, and stroked her long black hair from her neck on the unoccupied side.

* * *

"Listen closely as I tell you the story…this part is singing about the electricity that you just experienced…close your eyes Mina…feel those emotions again…and let your violin feel them too." His face was almost pressed completely against her now bare neck. He grazed his fingertips down her arm, causing her own fingers to tremble…adding an even more beautiful sound to the notes she played…"Good girl…(he breathed against her neck, causing her breath to hitch and her body to react at the perfect time with the notes)…now play the next part in time with your heart beat…"

As soon as he said that, the faster part of the music began…he ran his cool hands over the soft skin of her abdomen which was warm from being previously hidden under her shirt. He pressed his body against her back, feeling her shudder in front of him…she began to play fiercely, which was exactly the way she should. As the next set of quickened, passionate notes approached, Misaki slipped his thumbs into the waist line of her jeans…causing her body to react intensely…the violin reacting with it.

The next part was the hardest part, and Nowaki knew it. His body visibly tensed as the moment got closer. Akihiko noticed and listened and watched the most sensual violin lesson he had ever seen in his life.

Misaki removed his hands and body from the girl playing…as her heart beat calmed…so did her playing…just as the song was written. "Miss me Mina. Close your eyes and envision me walking away…drifting out of your sight…miss me like you loved me for a thousand years…" Misaki said in a sad liquid tone.

The young girl again did as she was told, small tears began to drip down her face. Since her eyes were closed, she did not see Misaki put another slit into his finger and drip blood on all four strings. Nowaki whispered to Akihiko, "Watch the blood…"

Akihiko watched as the blood began to trickle…just as it did when Misaki played…just as the tears were now trickling down the young girl's face. "As you end the song Mina…remember those feelings from before, only this time remember that you will never get to feel them again, remember that I am gone forever…" Misaki placed his still bleeding finger over the delicate lips of the violinist. The blood brought a bright red to her already pink lips. Her heart ripped at the sensation, lost in the fantasy that Misaki had given her. Misaki watched as the blood on all four strings hit the bow at once…and rocked gently back and forth as the crying girl played the last notes absolutely perfectly.

* * *

As the song ended, and the young girl played the last few long chords, the blood on her lips turned into a deep burgundy color that mirrored that of her eyes. Silence enveloped the room. No one made a single move. Mina collapsed on the floor, her hand muffling her soft cries. Once she regained her composure she looked up as Misaki, "What happened…for you to write a song like that…and who taught you to play."

Misaki's eyes traveled to a faraway place, somewhere deep in his locked heart. "Someone very special taught me to play…and once that person was gone…I played that song for them, knowing they would never hear it." He brought a small smile to his face and then lowered himself down to the girl's level on the ground. He placed his hand on her shoulder, "Now all you have to do is remember…you have to let your violin bleed when you play…let it bleed and tell the story only your body will ever know…you did really well…Mina." His words were gentle, his expression kind.

After a few seconds, Aikawa's girly squeal broke everyone from the spell that had bound them over the past few minutes. "You must be Misaki! I have heard a lot about you, but I never dreamed you'd be like this…that was…it was…incredible!"

Misaki looked up at the radiantly smiling woman standing next to Nowaki and Usami in the living room, "I'm sorry. I did not know Usami had company…I would have introduced myself. I am Takashi Misaki, and I am sorry you had to see that." Misaki wore his heart melting smile as he approached her. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine. I am ecstatic that I got to be here for that! I am Eri Aikawa, Usami Akihiko's editor at Marukawa Publishing." She extended her hand to the incredibly handsome young man now standing before her.

Sensing the kind of woman she was, Misaki took her small hand in his own and lightly kissed the woman's knuckles. She beamed and squealed at the gesture. "Akihiko! You never mentioned him being this amazing! Keep him…I could use the eye candy when I come to haul your ass in gear near deadline time." She cut her deep blue eyes at the author.

Misaki laughed a little, he liked her, she was most definitely amusing. "Well, let me show my guests to the door…one has an evidence based research paper to finish…that I am NOT helping him with this time, and the other has some violin practice in her future."

As the three got to the door, Nowaki looked down at Misaki, "Is your finger ok?" He said with a look of concern.

Misaki brought himself closer to his extremely tall best friend and gently pressed his freshly scarred index finger over Nowaki's lips. "I'm just fine…now go finish your paper…text me later." Nowaki smiled, and the two guests vanished through the door.

Akihiko couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy rush through him. "He is even sexy with other men, God this kid is quite a catch!" Aikawa squealed after she watched the interaction between Misaki and Nowaki. "Well, Usami-sensei…I must be going, but I'll be back in a week for that manuscript…if you want to continue breathing, I suggest you get it finished."

Akihiko waved his hand at her, brushing off her comment as she gathered her bags and headed to the door, leaving without saying another word.

Akihiko turned after locking the door behind his fan-girl editor. He gazed intensely at Misaki…who was now sitting on the couch in his usual laid back position, reading a book, with his index finger placed beautifully between his full lips.

To Be Continued.


	6. Chapter 6: The knight and the flower

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

A/N: Hime means princess and Hime-sama is proper way of addressing royalty. Euterpe by Egoist is an actual song, used in the anime Guilty Crown. I encourage everyone to go and listen to it to better understand this chapter…hope you enjoy!

**The knight and the flower princess**

Akihiko walked into the kitchen, it had been an exhausting night filled with novel writing. As he got closer, he overheard Misaki's phone conversation…once again coming through the speakers of the I-phone dock.

"I am soooooo sorry, but could you please, please, please watch her. It will only be for a few hours…and she absolutely insists on staying with her 'beloved knight'" Akihiko recognized the voice, it was the girl that was in love with Misaki….

"I don't live at my brother's place anymore…I'll have to clear it with Usami first." Just then Akihiko tapped Misaki on the shoulder and nodded yes in approval. "Well, looks like I just got permission…what time will you be bringing her?"

"I'll be there at about 6 and I can pick her up at around 2 in the morning…is that ok?" the girl on the other end of the phone sounded a little nervous.

"That's fine. I'll be up anyway, I have a paper due soon. I'll see you in a little bit then." Misaki said as he reached into the fridge to start gathering supplies for dinner.

"Thank God you are in my life Misaki…Sakura will be sooo excited. See you soon." With that, the girl hung up the phone. Misaki looked at the time and sighed. He turned on Canon D major by Pachelbel and set off, buzzing about the kitchen.

* * *

Akihiko leaned on the kitchen island and rested his tired head on his hand, following Misaki with his amethyst eyes. "I didn't know you had a friend with a kid." He stated rather bluntly. "She must be much older than you…"

"She is 22, and Sakura is 6…she is actually only older than me by a few months." Misaki never broke away from his dinner preparations.

"Oh. Well then. So how long have you known her?" Akihiko just wanted to keep the conversation going, although he was a little interested.

"Since she was 15, a little bit before she got pregnant."

"Hmmm. Well I am looking forward to having a kid running around tonight…I have plenty of things to play with…" this was not a lie…Akihiko's room looked like a toy store blew up all over the place.

Before long Misaki had dinner prepared and three plates on the table. A little bit before 6, the doorbell rang. Akihiko wandered over to the door and opened it, making sure he was sporting his most friendly smile.

* * *

Just outside the door was a small, but stunning woman. She had long, wavy deep auburn hair and eyes that were just as red, with small flakes of fire orange. She had (what would be considered to a man that was not gay) a perfect hour glass figure. She was wearing a black dinner gown that was hugging her in all the right places. Attached to her long leg was a small child. Akihiko almost passed out when he saw her.

The little girl had her mother's hair…long and wavy; however, it was chestnut brown. She stared up at Akihiko with deep, intense green eyes that held small flakes of deep blue. She was wearing a little green dress that made her eyes pop all the more.

The resemblance to Misaki's features nearly made Akihiko choke on his on saliva…could this girl possibly be Misaki's…he opened the door a little wider while thoughts bounced through his head. "Good evening. I am Usami Akihiko, Misaki's roommate. It is a pleasure to meet both of you lovely ladies."

"It is a pleasure to meet you to Usami-san, this is my daughter…Sakura; and I am Kajima Saki. Thank you so much for allowing Misaki to watch my daughter in your home." She had a dazzling smile that even Akihiko was impressed by.

"Please come in." Akihiko opened the door and stepped to the side, allowing the mother and daughter pair to enter the spacious apartment. As he moved out of the way…he caught the sight of Misaki down on one knee, just like a knight.

* * *

The little girl beamed with love as she slowly placed herself in front of Misaki, letting go of her mother's hand, "My wonderful Titania, how I have missed you so…your presence here alone fills me with enough joy to last me until my dying breath. Hime-sama…you are more beautiful now than the last time I was graced with presence." Misaki took the young girl's hand and kissed the back of it gently, causing a pink hue to fall over the little girl's face.

"My valiant knight. He whom has vowed to protect me with his life. I have missed you as well." The little girl spoke in a small voice that reminded Akihiko of the sound of silver bells.

Misaki smiled, staring directly into the precious child's eyes, and released her hand. Suddenly, she erupted in a fit of laughter…then she threw herself into Misaki's arms, hugging him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He stood quickly with the girl still giggling in his arms. He moved his hands and lifted her into the air, spinning wildly, laughing along with her. Finally he brought her forehead down to touch his own, consequently bringing her nose to his as well. He softly rubbed his nose against hers'.

"Are you hungry my love?" Misaki asked, placing the girl on her feet.

"Yes! Yes I am!" little Sakura then dashed for the table.

* * *

Misaki smiled and turned to Saki, who was still beaming brightly having witnessed her favorite scene in the world…the man of her dreams and her beautiful daughter. "Saki, where are you going in a dress like that may I ask?" Misaki's voice was a little stern. Saki turned a light shade of pink and shrunk in with his words.

"Now, now Misaki, I think the dress is beautiful…and it looks stunning on her, do you not agree?" Akihiko looked at Misaki sending him a look that said 'lay off her'.

Misaki sighed and walked over to Saki who was still staring at the ground. He grabbed her by the chin and brought her face to look at him, "Yes, Usami, I do think she looks stunning…which is why I am wondering where she is going." He was talking to Akihiko…but he never took his eyes off Saki.

"I have a business meeting with a few clients…my father included…you know he has been begging me to bring your next journal for him to read…by the way." The pink from before had deepened, pooling in her cheeks.

Misaki ran his hand up her blushing cheek and into her wavy hair. "I'll have to think about doing that then…but please be safe. I will see you at 2, now if you will excuse me I have a princess sitting patiently at the table that I must attend to." Misaki removed his hand and headed for the dining room table where little Sakura was waiting. It left Saki with an almost pained expression on her face.

"Again, thank you both so much. I will be back soon. (she then spoke a little louder in the direction of her daughter) I love you baby girl…behave yourself, mommy will see you in a little while ok?" Saki said glancing at her watch.

"Ok Mommy. Bye-Bye." The little girl responded, then began to eat.

"We will see you soon. I hope you have a wonderful evening." Akihiko smiled at the young woman as she exited the room. She waved back at him with a smile, finally disappearing through the door.

* * *

Dinner was lively. There was laughing and joking…lots of playing. Akihiko was in heaven, since acting like a little kid was his specialty. Soon after they finished eating, Akihiko lead Sakura to his room of toys while Misaki cleaned up the kitchen. It was nearly 9 o'clock when he saw them again.

Sakura ran over and jumped in Misaki's lap. "My, my Hime-sama you have been gone for quite some time…did you have fun?"

As Misaki and his young companion chatted back and forth about all the toys she got to play with Akihiko observed carefully. This child was for sure a dead ringer of Misaki. All those haunting questions again entered his mind. Not only did she share his features, but watching the two of them was exactly like watching a warm father-daughter moment. Even the way Misaki looked at and adored her was just like that of a father to his baby girl.

Only lost in thought for a moment, Akihiko was soon jolted out of trance by a rather intriguing request from the little girl. "Misaki, will you please sing me to sleep. I want you to play that song for me…please, please…" she begged in her pure crystal voice. Her expression was a sweet as fresh honey.

"Hai, Hai…anything for my Hime." Misaki lifted them off the couch…carrying Sakura bridal style up to his room. Akihiko watched quietly as they ascended the stairs. He watched Misaki turn on the hall light and then disappear into his room. He could hear Misaki rummaging around his closet before the light in the room flicked off.

* * *

Akihiko was floored when he heard the soft sound of a guitar playing lightly in Misaki's room. Just as he was about to go investigate, Aikawa opened the door to the apartment. Before she could begin her usual rant, Akihiko quickly pushed his finger to his lips…signaling her to be quiet. She widened her eyes, but then understood when she heard the soft music echoing down the stairs.

The two were seemingly pulled by invisible strings created by the soft sounds. As they got to the entrance of Misaki's room, their hearts were filled with a warm, calming emotion. Misaki sat at the end of the small bed, an acoustic guitar in his lap. He was strumming with skilled fingers very lightly.

The next thing they heard nearly brought tears to their eyes…

Misaki, accompanied by the soft ring of Sakura's voice, lightly sang the lyrics to Euterpe…a song by a band called Egoist…

"saita no no hana yo  
aa douka oshieteokure  
hito ha naze kizutsukeatte  
arasou no deshou

rin to saku hana yo  
soko kara nani ga mieru  
hito ha naze yurushiau koto  
dekinai no deshou

ame ga sugite natsu ha  
aoi wo utsushita  
hitotsu ni natte  
chiisaku yureta  
watashi no mae de  
nani mo iwazu ni…."

Misaki's voice was beautifully delicate, and Sakura's was tender and sweet. Their low voices echoed through the room. It was calming…loving…spell-binding even. Akihiko's heart swelled, tears brimming in his eyes. Was there nothing this boy wasn't capable of…

He stared into the dark room as Misaki sang to the small beautiful girl tucked tightly under the covers. She had drifted off to sleep near the end of the second verse. Akihiko was sure she was roaming around in a fantasy dream…accompanied only by her perfect knight in shining armor.

Once the song had ended, Misaki very quietly and very slowly removed his guitar and left the room. He was immediately met with two pairs of eyes…one set deep blue, the other breath-taking amethyst. "Um, is there something wrong?" He asked with a quizzical look on his face.

* * *

The three moved into the living room before conversing so as not to wake the sleeping angel in Misaki's room. Aikawa was the first to speak, "Misaki, please tell me…is there anything you can't do?" Akihiko was glad she asked, because truthfully he was wondering the same thing. "I mean you are top of your class…you can excel in the medical field though you choose not too…you are well versed in literature…you are musically brilliant…obviously fantastic with kids…you can cook AND clean…and to top it all off…you are mouth-wateringly sexy! Why the hell are you not married?" Aikawa's voice seemed to be squealing even in her whispered tone.

Misaki sat down on the white couch, leaning into the coffee table. He looked at his phone, then picked up his notebook and pen. He made himself comfortable, leaning back, and rested one ankle on his opposite knee. "You are as bad as Sakura and Saki, I promise you I am not the prince you make me out to be…I just happened to be intelligent and talented with too much free time on my hands…nothing more."

"I do believe you are not giving yourself enough credit…" Akihiko spoke without thinking.

* * *

Misaki tilted his head to the side. He slowly lifted his body off the couch and came very, very close to Akihiko. He had noticed his roommate eyeing him more and more lately, and with a bit of alcohol in his system (that he drank while Usami was playing with Sakura) he was feeling kind of playful. Not that he would admit it, but he had been wanting to touch Usami for a while now. The other night was…fun, and he wanted more.

He gently tugged at Usami's silk tie, pulling it free from the confines of his vest. He trailed his fingers down the fabric slowly, letting it slide over his palm. His eyes locked onto Usami's as he spoke, "Oh am now. Well U-sa-mi…would you like to tell more about the credit I am denying myself?"

The sexy tone of Misaki's voice nearly made Akihiko weak in the knees. Since his editor was there, he would have to wait to pay the young boy back for his seductive acts. Watching his tie flow over Misaki's nimble fingers made him start to think back on all the places those hands had grazed a few nights back. He could feel his erection tightening in his pants.

Watching all this unfold, Aikawa thought it best she excuse herself…which she did…rather quickly. Saying her good-byes she left her star author and his tantalizing roommate standing in the living room.

Misaki pulled tight on Usami's tie, bringing him down so that he could whisper in his ear…"2 am isn't getting here quick enough is it…Akihiko." After finishing his seductive sentence he made sure to bite softly on Usami's earlobe, causing the elder man to shudder and release a small moan. A wicked smile fell over Misaki's face as he sat himself back down to work on his paper…feeling those amethyst eyes burning holes in him.

To Be Continued.


	7. Chapter 7: Hints to a Beautiful Mystery

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Hints to a beautiful mystery**

There was a small knock on the door. 2 am had finally made it. A very sexually frustrated Akihiko made his way to the door. Saki entered the room quietly, looking around to locate the face she knows so well. "Where's Misaki?" She said politely.

"He just went to get your lovely little girl…I'm sure he'll be down in just a second." Akihiko assured the very tired looking woman. Then answering her before she could ask, "She was a delight to have around, she was no trouble at all, please feel free to bring her anytime. We had a fantastic evening."

Smiling, Saki moved to the living room, "So how long have you known Misaki?" She said sitting down on the couch, making polite conversation as she waited on Misaki to come down.

"Only for about two weeks actually, I was very close with his brother and due to circumstances…he is now living here." Akihiko answered.

"Oh! You know Takahiro, he is a wonderful man," she smiled brightly…if she only knew how wonderful Akihiko really thought that man was, "I have to thank you again for tonight. It has been Sakura and I alone for a long time now, and I don't have very many people I trust…except Misaki."

Akihiko figured, as rude as it may be, that he would try to get the answer to that pesky question that had been haunting him since he first laid eyes on little Sakura, "May I ask about her father?"

Saki's eyes widened, "He was an asshole. We split up before I knew I was pregnant, and when I told him he just denied everything… we haven't spoken since. (Akihiko felt great…it must just be a coincidence that she looks like him) It was really hard on me, and I was very alone…that's when I got close to Misaki…he was suffering a loss of his own, so we had something in common. We have been friends ever since, he was able to heal the wounds on my heart, I just wish I could have healed his too…but I guess some wounds never close…he is better now, a little more reckless, but it's nowhere near how bad it was when he was 15."

* * *

Akihiko didn't want to pry any further, but now he was curious as to what loss Misaki suffered at 15…finally there was noise from Misaki's room. He exited slowly carrying little Sakura bridal style in his arms; she was still sleeping peacefully. "Well here she is, did you have a good time?" Misaki asked while descending the stairs.

"Yeah. Although my father annoyed the hell out of me with his 'you need to find a good man while you're still young…that girl needs a father…why not marry Misaki?' speech." Saki was rolling her eyes, dropping her voice low when she imitated her dad.

"I'm sure I'll hear it too…since I am just about done with my third journal. I still can't believe he likes reading that crap." Misaki laid Sakura over Saki's shoulder after she stood up.

"Well I don't think its crap…you have always been good with words, but your poetry is like magic on paper," Saki said walking to the door. "Thank you again Misaki, I will text you tomorrow."

"Hm. Sure, I'll talk to you then…be careful getting home." Misaki shut the door behind the stunning woman when she left.

* * *

He then turned to Akihiko, "Well, well…looks like we have the place to ourselves again." There was that same tempting playfulness behind his eyes that Akihiko had seen the other night. _Tequila_…

"How should we spend our time…are you sure you shouldn't be getting to bed?" Akihiko's words were mimicking the playfulness in Misaki's eyes.

"Bed wouldn't be so bad," Misaki put his index finger at the base of Akihiko's neck, then slowly let it travel down…bouncing against the fabric of Usami's shirt. "But only if you go with me…" He made a pouty face, sticking out his bottom lip, looking up from the very top of his eyes.

Akihiko could have died…Misaki looked so damn hot looking up at him like that. He couldn't resist…Akihiko leaned down and bit Misaki's pouted lip. Chills ran down through his body as he listened to Misaki moan at the action.

Akihiko grabbed Misaki's hand and led him up the steps, "as you wish…" he said.

When they finally made it to the bed, Akihiko slung Misaki onto the soft mattress. He rested one of his knees in between Misaki's thighs, he put his arms out…hands pressed into the mattress on either side of the teasing boy's body. He leaned over him, filled with lust and desire.

* * *

Misaki was thrilled, he was trembling inside with excitement as he stared up at those gorgeous violet eyes…Usami hovering over him. His heart was racing. Usami brought his sweet, soft lips down to his. Misaki kissed back, as passionately as he thought he could. He could feel Usami's hand slide under his shirt. It was hot…his touch was so burning hot on his skin, he loved it.

"Ah…hnnn…mmm, Akihiko," Misaki whispered breathlessly between kisses. He was swimming in the feeling of fire on his skin. His breathy sounds made Akihiko shudder.

Usami then pushed Misaki's shirt up and over his head, exposing his silky skin to the cool air of the room. Misaki gasped. He was filled with a pleasurable sensation as Usami started to plant small kisses on stomach and chest. Every spot his hands or lips touched on Misaki was set ablaze. He couldn't take it anymore, he put his hands on Akihiko's shoulders and swiftly changed their positions.

He was straddling Usami in a dark room, shirtless…breathless…lost in the fire that had just be lit inside of him. He leaned down and claimed Akihiko's lips once more; their tongues dancing to a beat of their own. The fire was not smoldered however, Misaki didn't get even one break…for Akihiko was now running his fingertips over his back, tracing his spine…causing new areas of skin to tingle and burn.

* * *

Misaki may not have been aware…but his hips were moving in time with the deepening of the kiss. Akihiko could feel every movement with every inch of his erection…once again restricted by his clothes. Finally, Misaki broke the kiss…Akihiko looked up into heated, passionate deep green eyes. Misaki leaned achingly close to Akihiko's ear, the boys chest pressed onto his own.

"Dream of me Akihiko…" Misaki said in the most seductively liquid tone he had ever heard. He then grinded his hips into Akihiko's before lifting himself up and disappearing into the darkness once again, and once again Akihiko came…at just the mere sound of the boy's voice.

* * *

The next morning Akihiko woke to a silent home. _Misaki must be already gone_…he made his way to the kitchen to heat up the breakfast he knew would be in the microwave. He thought through the events of the previous day…and the previous night. Eating his breakfast he remember the small hint that Saki gave him about Misaki's past…he needed to investigate further…he wanted to try and understand that beautiful boy, even if only the smallest amount more.

At that moment, another piece of information he got last night came ringing through his head. There was a journal of some sort…Akihiko stood and made his way to Misaki's room, feeling a bit guilty about what he was about to do…but he let other people read them…so maybe reading them would help make things clear.

Akihiko entered the clean, and organized room…there he saw it, a black journal resting on the desk. Feeling a little nervous, and kind of intrigued, Akihiko lifted the book and opened to the first page…out fell…two pictures…face down…

To Be Continued.


	8. Chapter 8: Pictures and Messages

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Pictures and Messages**

Akihiko placed the black journal, still open, on the desk. He leaned down to retrieve the two pictures that had fallen. As he got closer, he saw writing on the back of one of the pictures. It was written in English, which Akihiko found strange.

_Emerald will always be my favorite color._

_Till we meet again._

The note was short, sweet, and very cryptic. Akihiko flipped the picture over to see what was on the other side…secretly hoping it might help answer some questions; however, it only caused more questions to arise in his mind.

It was a very pretty picture. It was of an outside scene. In the forefront was an aged wooden bench swing, hanging from a thick tree limb. In the background, the sky was pale blue and filled with fluffy white clouds…there was a wooded area lining the back of the photo. It must have been windy when the photo was taken because there were red, burgundy, orange, and yellow leaves dancing all over the image.

Staring at the mysteriously beautiful picture Akihiko could almost feel the cool wind on his skin…he could almost hear the distant squeaks and rattling of the chains holding up the swing as it swayed back and forth, just recently abandoned. He could even almost smell the scent of the oncoming season change.

* * *

He put the picture down in the book, back to where it came from and then flipped over the next picture. Akihiko's eyes fell on a face he recognized. It was a much younger looking Nowaki, the man that had brought his sister for that heated violin lesson. In the photo, Nowaki was still tall…only a few inches difference in his height now. He was smiling, wearing what looked like a Tokyo high school uniform.

Standing next to him was a boy that Akihiko could tell was American. He looked to be about 5'10", Akihiko guessed. He had shaggy blonde hair that fell over his eyes about an inch. He was tanned and extremely built…_very handsome_. He looked like he was about 16, wearing the same high school uniform as Nowaki. Akihiko could not see his eye color though. In the picture the young man was focused only on the face that was resting on his shoulder…Akihiko recognized his expression…

Akihiko's heart clenched a little, because on the American boy's back hung a very sexy, very young, very happy Misaki. Misaki's arms were draped over the other boy's chest and his head was resting on one of his shoulders. He had the same shaggy chestnut brown hair, and the same breathtaking green eyes that were staring straight at the camera…_emerald green eyes_. (As this thought passed through Akihiko's mind he flicked his eyes back to the note on the other photo) Misaki was flashing a smile that Akihiko had never witnessed personally…it was big, and bright, and pure.

* * *

Who was this American? What was his relationship with Misaki? Where was he now? He had to know…he had to find the answer's somehow. His heart was racing as the questions circled over and over again in his head.

He set the picture down and decided to go back to the task he came to do in the first place…slowly picking up the journal he began to read the first passage:

_I can hear it again. _

_This faint sound that has become so familiar._

_You left me alone again._

_Bleeding, screaming, longing for you._

_I can hear it again._

_This sound that threatens to rip me apart._

_The only sound left within me, the breaking of my heart._

Akihiko couldn't read anymore…he was too, confused…too…oh hell, he didn't know anymore, he just knew he needed answers. He placed the journal back in its place…and left the room.

* * *

As he was coming down the stairs, there was a knock at the door. _Who the hell_….Akihiko made his way to the door and opened it, towering over him was just the person he wanted to speak with…it was Nowaki…looking innocent and confused.

"Hello there Nowaki. Can I help you? Please, come in." Akihiko said, smiling brightly and trying to be polite.

"Ah. Thank you, (Nowaki stepped inside)…is Misaki not home?" Nowaki spoke as he scanned the open apartment, searching for his friend.

"No. He has not returned. Were you supposed to be meeting him?" Akihiko asked while taking a seat on the couch.

"Yes. I wanted him to take a look at my clinical analysis before I turned it in…he really is very, very good with this kind of stuff." Nowaki still stood just inside the door.

Eyeing the tall midnight blue eyed male Akihiko could tell he was nervous…or uncomfortable. "Why don't you take a seat and wait on him, I'm sure he'll be here any minute now if he told you to be here at this time. I wouldn't mind the company."

"Oh…Ok…Thank you, I will." Nowaki sat himself across from Akihiko and smiled.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question…" Akihiko wanted to get straight to the point, Misaki could come in at any minute…and he had to have some answers.

"Sure. I don't mind at all." Nowaki leaned in so that he was sure to hear correctly whatever words were about to come his way.

"I happened across a picture, with you and Misaki and another young man in it. I was wondering if you could tell me more about the photo, do you know the one I am referring to?" Akihiko was starting to get a little nervous himself.

"Oh. You must mean the one from back in high school. If it is the one I am thinking of then I was 17, Misaki was 15…and Reece (Nowaki dipped his head, sounding a little sad) was about 16. It must have been the one taken just before he left." Nowaki answered.

"Reece?" Akihiko let the name slip in question formation before he could think…

"Yeah. He was a foreign exchange student from America that came over during our middle school days. He was Misaki's best friend."

Akihiko could sense that Nowaki was getting a little more uncomfortable…almost depressed…so he decided not to push any further. He was about to change the subject when Nowaki continued…

"Reece was able to heal Misaki when I couldn't. I am sure you know about his parents. (Akihiko nodded) Well he was still struggling with it, even after 3 years. Then Reece showed up…he was kind and strong…very intelligent. He was immediately drawn to Misaki, and vice versa. Before long he and Misaki were inseparable, and they stayed that way…for four years. Then one morning, I came to pick Misaki and Reece up to head to school together, like we always did…and I found Misaki gripping a picture with a note in English on the back and Reece was gone."

* * *

Nowaki and Akihiko sat in silence for a moment, Akihiko didn't want to disturbed Nowaki's obviously painful flashback…then, out of nowhere, the door swung open. As soon as Akihiko laid eyes on Aikawa, he remembered the convention he had to speak at…cursing at himself for neglecting to be ready.

"Thank you! Thank you so much Misaki! I am so glad I ran into you…I was seriously about to have a break down. We only have an hour before we have to leave, please go get ready…you really are a life saver." Aikawa was antsy…steadily checking her watch as she spoke.

"Oh. Nowaki, I am glad you are here. I will have to take a look at your paper a little later…Aikawa's interpreter bailed out at the last minute and she needs someone fluent in English to help her at the convention she and Usami are attending tonight. I am so sorry man, I promise I will look it over as soon as I get home." Misaki finished his apology and then darted up the stairs, presumably to get suited up…quickly.

"What is going on Aikawa? I am fluent in English…you didn't have to bring him into this…" Akihiko was terribly embarrassed by Aikawa's behavior.

"You are not going to be able to be by my side the entire night…besides when Misaki found me in tears on my way here…I told him the problem…and he offered to translate for me tonight, simple as that, it's not like I am imposing or anything." Aikawa sounded a little irritated, but didn't seem to let it bother her too much. "Oh my, you're the man from the other day…Nowaki correct? (she didn't wait on a reply) it's very nice to see you again. Would you like to attend with us tonight? Since you are already in a suit you are more than welcome to accompany us…"

"Oh no…I couldn't do -" Nowaki was cut off.

"Hey. That's a great idea. Then when we get done you won't have to drive over here again, you would already be with me for me to look over that analysis…besides Aikawa and Usami will be pretty busy, it'll be nice to have someone with me that I know." Misaki yelled down from his bedroom.

Just as he finished talking, he came out into view. The three onlookers downstairs were floored. Misaki looked incredible in a suit. It was an all-black suit that fit tightly around him…showing off his toned arms, slim frame, and accenting his perfect milky complexion…not to mention his deep green eyes stood out beautifully.

"Oh – My! Misaki…could you get any more attractive? You look soooo good! You should wear suits more often." Aikawa beamed as she straightened his tie.

Akihiko was speechless. All he could do was admire the view, and try to calm his inner desires…he looked over at Nowaki, who was surprisingly watching Misaki with the same lustful eyes that he was. Akihiko couldn't blame him though, anyone would want to stop and appreciate a man that looked like that.

After a few final touches to each man, and herself…Aikawa ushered them all out the door and into the awaiting car.

To Be Continued.

* * *

**A/N: 2255JesJes2255 – Thank you so much for continuing to review. I am very glad you are enjoying the story….it gets better I promise! I can't wait to hear what you say about the things to come…I know it may be moving a little slow, but I wanted to give everyone the chance to fall in love with my version of Misaki…and since he is rather complicated, it is taking sometime…I just wanted Akihiko to fall in love with him for a bunch of reasons, slowly, and piece by piece falling out of love with Takahiro…so if you will continue to bear with me, I promise to give you more turns, twists, and emotions…suggestions are welcome… **

**Usamisaftw – Thank you for reviewing and I hope you continue to do so. Your support keeps me writing. And you were my first reviewer….so you get the first big cyber-hug I can give…lol**

**Chillaxin260 – I am glad you are enjoying…please keep reading, and reviewing…I love hearing everyone's thoughts…and if it ever gets boring…just let me know**

**Kokoro No Kuro – I am glad you reviewed my story…I hope you will continue to let me know if you are still interested in the future. Thanks again.**


	9. Chapter 9: Enchanting Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**A/N: I used two songs in this chapter. I encourage everyone to go and listen to them on youtube…the first is "May I" by Trading Yesterday…and the second is "Wind" by Brian Crain (this is the song 'Misaki composed' in the story)…I believe actually hearing the songs might help you understand Misaki better…they both have a deep meaning, and I picked them for a purpose. Well I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

**Enchanting Me**

The convention was loud, bustling with tons of foreigners in classy suits. Misaki really did hate this kind of thing…but when he saw how upset Aikawa was, he knew he couldn't say no. It had been a long time since he had to speak English formally, but there was no way possible that he would ever forget how to.

He stood in front of many different rich –looking Americans, translating back – and – forth for what seemed like an eternity. There were all sorts of things being discussed, most of it had to do with some literary firm…the exchange system…and most spoke very highly of Japan's most notable authors.

Misaki could feel himself getting very exhausted…noticing this, Aikawa let him take a break, saying that she would just stick to Usami like glue for a while. As soon as he thanked her, he went to search for his friend, Nowaki…there was no way he was going to pry Usami away from the group surrounding him.

"Hey. How you doing? Still perfect speaking English I see…" Nowaki said as Misaki arrived at his side.

"Hm. Yeah. I guess." Misaki said, sipping a glass of overly expensive champagne. Just then, a man in a bright red suit appeared on the stage at the front of the banquet hall. Misaki couldn't help but think he looked a little like a clown…it made him laugh, almost causing him to spit his drink all over the place.

"Ladies and Gentleman (he spoke in English), I am terribly sorry to announce our musical entertainer could not make it tonight…"

"Play Misaki." Nowaki said grinning, eyeing the grand piano behind the clown suit man.

"No way man, I haven't played in ages…not since…nevermind, anyway there is no way." Misaki said bluntly.

"Sir! He can play! Takashi Misaki, right here…(Nowaki pushed Misaki forward, making his drink sway in its glass)" Nowaki was grinning ear to ear. Misaki gave him a death stare before moving towards the stage.

"Oh my! Sir, would you be willing to play for us tonight?" The man in red asked as Misaki made his way through the crowd.

"Yes sir. It would be my honor." Misaki said, bowing his head.

"Do you know any American songs? Or classical pieces?" The man in red inquired.

"I do." Misaki replied. He raised his head and then stepped gracefully on to the stage, taking his seat at the cherry wood piano.

* * *

Aikawa and Akihiko had just barely realized what was happening. Akihiko was lost in wonderment…there was no way Misaki could be any more talented, yet now he learned he could play the piano on top of everything else. Little did he know how astounded he would be in only a few short minutes.

"Oh my goodness! I hope he is good, does he even know any American pieces?" Aikawa leaned into Akihiko, eyes glued to Misaki who was rolling up his sleeves and preparing to play.

"Yes he does. They are absolutely beautiful pieces too. He may even play a self-composed piece…that one is my absolute favorite." Nowaki had just come up behind Akihiko and Aikawa, startling them a bit when he spoke.

The lights in the banquet room dimmed slightly and a spotlight was directed at Misaki. Akihiko, (and Nowaki as well) could not help but notice how he seemed to fit perfectly on stage…behind a grand piano that was a glorious as he was. Akihiko trembled in anticipation as the performance began.

"First I will play you a piano concerto composed by Mozart. I hope you all enjoy" Misaki said in English. Akihiko had not had the chance to hear how nearly perfect he could speak the foreign language…he was surprised…

* * *

Misaki began, closing his eyes and moving his fingers gracefully from key to key. Akihiko watched as his shoulder's moved and swayed along with the notes. Only briefly, only a few times, did Misaki even open his eyes…but when he did, the illumination behind those emeralds was alluring.

Akihiko was thoroughly impressed. A few people had come to speak with him, but he was unable to break his attention away from the beautiful young man currently causing his world to haze in and out of some fantasy-like dream. Aikawa and Nowaki stood just as entranced…and just as still.

A wave of applause cascaded through the room…breaking Akihiko from his spell, temporarily. The first piece was over, but now he was dying to hear what came next.

"This is an American song entitled 'May I', please enjoy" Misaki said, before becoming very still…and very calm.

Within seconds, a slow melody began to ring to through the room…and then, Misaki's thick honey sounding voice seeped into every soul. Even the men, who had conversed through the entire first song…stopped to listen…caught in the suffocating emotion that was emanating from the words of the song

* * *

There you stand, opened heart, opened doors  
Full of life with a world that's wanting more  
But I can see when the lights start to fade  
The day is done and your smile has gone away

Let me raise you up  
Let me be your love

May I hold you as you fall to sleep  
When the world is closing in  
And you can't breathe here  
May I love you, may I be your shield  
When no one can be found  
May I lay you down…

That's when Akihiko spotted it; a small glimmer bouncing off the light shining into the performer's face. It was only for an instant…a millisecond in time…but Akihiko, who was so utterly focused on every minuscule moment of Misaki's performance, saw it…and it tugged at him. Akihiko reached his hand out…into the airy space before him…dying to reach out and touch the young boy who now occupied everything within him…only to realize he was still far too unreachable. Misaki had cried…one small tear slid down his impeccable cheek…

* * *

As Misaki finished the beautiful song…everyone in the room stood, clapping like crazy…there were women in every corner practically fainting in awe…Misaki thanked the crowd…"This will be the last bit of entertainment I can offer you tonight ladies and gentlemen, I am truly grateful for your applause…I hope you enjoy, a piece written by me…"

Another young man in a suit appeared on stage. Misaki got up from his place at the piano, and allowed the man to sit down. No one was sure when Misaki had done it, but apparently he sent his sheet music to a printer, and the other man had brought it out.

Moments later, a woman carrying a violin entered the stage area. Handing the violin to Misaki, she bowed then disappeared. The crowd 'oohhed and aahhhed' as Misaki sat on the very edge of the stage, and brought the violin into its place between his delicate chin and thick shoulder. This time Akihiko was sure that a woman somewhere in the room actually feinted this time, because now…those divine emerald eyes were visible to everyone.

The pianist began…it was a graceful, powerful, smooth flowing melody…for 47 seconds, as Misaki listened to his own perfected melody play, he waited…and smiled…his violin unmoving in its place. And then he began…closing his eyes…he played…and Akihiko could hear the pain…the desire…the love…the calling…the longing…the pure and elegant emotions…he could hear them all…as the violin bled…feeling and conveying the same emotions of its violinist.

Misaki then stood…walking slowly through the crowd, spot light following him every step of the way…his body almost danced as he played…passionately…not holding anything back…

Akihiko watched in amazement…wonder…the song sounded to him like two lovers, far, far away from one another were speaking…back and forth…calling out to each other…only neither party could be reached…the piano and the violin were forever the perfect melody, separated by what sounded like space and time.

"Reece…" Nowaki whispered to Akihiko, as he too watched the exquisite scene play out.

"What?!" Akihiko's heart slammed into his chest without warning…he snapped his head to Nowaki, wide eyed…

"That's the name of this piece…" Nowaki whispered. Akihiko stood unmoving, as he stared into the pained expression on Nowaki's face…watching a few tears fall from his midnight blue crystals.

_He is in love with him…has been…for a very long time_…_I would know…I too have worn that expression before.._(he turned back to Misaki…who was finishing his performance)…_and here I am…falling for him as well…too fast, and too hard…_

As soon as Misaki finished, he stood in the center of the room…smiling and bowing as the crowd surrounded and applauded him…he turned and bowed to the pianist who helped him play his personally composed piece.

* * *

Aikawa rushed over to where Misaki stood, she pushed her way through the crowd…(of mostly woman, young and old alike)…Akihiko watched as she whispered a few unknown words into Misaki's ear…then he watched as they excused themselves from the encirclement…

"Misaki. You have got to stop making me fall in love with you! You're too young for me…damn it…why didn't you say you could play the piano?" Aikawa was talking like 14 year old school girl…

"I can't play…I only know a few pieces…and I've written a few, but the original pianist that joined me during the last song…he was excellent." Misaki said tugging at his tie while they all stood at the elevator, waiting for it to arrive.

"That's not true! You were much better…*sigh*…well thank you again anyway…you did everything I asked and then even blew me away with one more of your captivating talents…I really do appreciate your helping tonight." Aikawa smiled and looked up at Misaki.

"You are very welcome…now just get me home fast…this damn suit is smothering me…I just want to get it off…" as he said the last phrase, he gave a sideways glance at Akihiko…and gave him the signature playful smile.

Akihiko was too worried to play back…as much as his heart raced as soon as Misaki glanced his way…he was still processing all the information he had…about Misaki…about Nowaki…about Takahiro…about his unrequited love of 10 years, now slowly slipping away and being replaced by something new…then Akihiko's mind flashed to that picture….the picture from the journal…

He pushed his fingertips into his forehead and winced in pain silently…Reece…and those words he left behind…there was no way he was only Misaki's best friend…what happened…and why did he leave…who would ever abandoned such a perfect man…

_I would never leave him…I would stay by his side forever…protect him…love him…I wouldn't leave him even if he pushed me away…_those were Akihiko's only thoughts as they entered the car and moved to the direction of his home…

To Be Continued.


	10. Chapter 10: You make me smile

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**a/n: **_**italics**_** are inner thoughts. And the lines beginning with '…' and ending with '…' belong to Misaki's "little voice" of the heart.**

**You make me smile**

The four tired individuals lugged themselves in to Akihiko's apartment. Misaki ripped his tie the rest of the way off and slung it on to the couch.

"God damn I hate wearing these stuffy things…Usami, I don't know how you do it all the time." Misaki slid his upper body down the back of the couch and took his seat. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. Akihiko studied his face…his eyes…his hair, as it fell strand by strand back into place after gliding through Misaki's skilled fingers. He was beautiful.

Misaki leaned forward and picked up Nowaki's clinical analysis and began to read, holding it with one hand…the other hand worked slowly at unbuttoning his long-sleeved suit shirt. Akihiko was completely oblivious to the chatter and movement of the other two parties in the room, he simply stood…staring at Misaki as he undid the buttons…one by one…

Misaki continued reading…fully concentrated. Once his shirt was undone, he wiggled his shoulder a bit to help slide one arm free from the encasing silk. He then switched hands for reading the paper, and repeated the same movement with the other arm…leaving his silk shirt behind him.

Akihiko could not peel his eyes away. Misaki's body was too alluring. He admired the boy, now shirtless, sitting on his couch. His milky white skin radiated heat, his muscled arms were perfect…not too muscular, but enough to create intricate dips and curves in his skin…he watched as those intense eyes scanned each line carefully…he was hypnotized.

"Mm. This is good. Much better than your last attempt; however, I think that you are describing the heart sounds wrong…with this particular cardiomyopathy your S1 is going to be strong, but your S2 will be shallow…almost like if it were surrounded with fluid…" Misaki said with his eyes on the paper. He then looked up curiously when he got no reply…"Um…is there something on my face?" He asked when he noticed that his three companions were all staring at him.

"My lord…I need to excuse myself. I can't look at you much longer without wanting to pounce on you…" Aikawa said sighing. "I will see you both next week. Usami-sensei...I will destroy you if you don't have the manuscript done by then…"Her eyes were stern, and they would have pierced Akihiko all the way to the bone if he was not so preoccupied…

With that, Aikawa exited…Nowaki finally came back to reality, "Well thanks so much for looking it over Misaki…I really do need to go, I'll fix my heart sound description when I get home…"

"Um. Sure. Anytime. Here you go." Misaki said, standing up and extending the paper to his friend. Nowaki swallowed hard as he took in the sight before him…the tighter his pants grew, the quicker he knew he needed to leave. Nowaki nodded, grabbed the paper, and left after thanking Misaki one more time.

* * *

The door clicked shut. "Uuwaahh! I need a drink…how about you?" Misaki said in a tired but happy tone. His big green eyes locked in on Akihiko.

"Hm. Sure, I could go for a drink…" Akihiko then made his way to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of wine.

After a few glasses, and some very entertaining conversation about the stuffy American's at the convention…both men were recovering from laughter. Akihiko stood to go and put the wine away, since he knew it was time to end the evening.

It wasn't that he didn't want to bang the shit out Misaki tonight, but he was pleased with seeing him like this…just relaxed and real…enjoying himself without any worries. Although, Akihiko struggled with the butterflies in his stomach disrupting his thought process every time Misaki smiled. And lest we not forget how difficult it had been to have a 'light-hearted' conversation when Misaki was shirtless…but Akihiko's will power prevailed, and he was disappointed and proud at the same time.

On his way back to the living room, Akihiko smacked his foot into the leg of one of the side tables, "FUCK! SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled as he hopped around on one leg…holding the injured foot.

Misaki just laughed…it was a loud, pure laugh…that made Akihiko smile through his pain, "I-I'm…sorry," Misaki sputtered through giggles, "It's – It's just…you look like a rabbit (usagi)…hopping around…like that…(he was now laughing so hard that tears were forming at the corners of his eyes…then he took a breath)…ahhhh, that was great…are you ok, Usagi-san?" Misaki erupted into laughter again.

Akihiko had started laughing too, he knew he had to look pretty ridiculous hopping around…however, the laughing caused him to lose focus; he lost his balance and was suddenly headed in the direction of the floor.

"Watch out!" Misaki yelled through his laughter. Akihiko then braced himself, but the smack to the head never came. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a smiling Misaki…his eyes gleaming. Misaki had somehow managed to place his hand underneath Akihiko's head before he hit the ground. But now he was straddled over Akihiko, only inches from his face.

* * *

He could see, hear, and feel Misaki's heavy breathing from all the laughter…Misaki's exposed chest was rising and falling directly over Akihiko's…Misaki was beaming a bright smile. He could feel the young man's soft, warm hands…tangled in his hair beneath him. Misaki's weight, resting on his elbows, just near either side of Akihiko's neck.

As they looked at one another, they both thought of their positions…how they got there…and then…they laughed…they stayed in that position on the floor and utterly cracked up…Akihiko's eyes were watering, and they were shut tight with laughter…and then he felt it…

Misaki couldn't help himself…it had been years since he was this happy…silly…he leaned in, and while still smiling, still laughing he kissed the older man below him.

Both men then began a round of small pecks between dying laughter…Akihiko had never felt so carefree…and Misaki had never felt so light-hearted…neither man made a single move to touch anything other than each other's lips…

Finally Misaki ended the round of kisses, looking down into the violet eyes he was growing so fond of, then he spoke…"You make me smile…" Misaki said before he lifted himself up off of the floor, and up off of Akihiko. He took one more sip of wine…finishing off his glass on the table. "Goodnight Usagi-san." He said playfully and then disappeared.

Akihiko laid there on the floor, panting from all the laughter. He was in some sort of bliss…_'you make me smile'….'you make me smile'…_he kept playing those four words over in his head. He was baffled at how Misaki could turn his heart upside down with only four simple words, when he…an author…couldn't covey anything nearly as well with a thousand words.

* * *

~In Misaki's room~

Misaki lay, in the dark, stretched out on his back…his eyes were closed peacefully…and a smile still lingered on his face….

'_what am I doing?'_

…falling in love…

'_I can't'_

…you're probably right, but you can't stop it now…

'_he makes me smile…he makes me forget the pain, even if only momentarily…and with just one touch he melts the icy shell encasing my body…and my hear'_

…told you…you are falling in love…poor man…

'_shut up! I know. I can't fall in love with him, because I couldn't bear to see him disappear'_

…and he will…you know he will…just like Reece…

(pain shot across Misaki's face) _'but I never got the chance to love Reece…because I didn't realize it until he was gone…can I even afford to repeat the same mistake?'_

…he will never love you, how could he…you killed your parents, ruined your brother's life…drove away Reece…you're an icy cold man…destined to be alone…

(tears began to streak down Misaki's face) _'I want him to love me…I want to love him…I want…'_

…hush now…and go to sleep…alone…the way you know it should be…if you love him, then never let yourself tell him so…never let him fall for you…because you will only cause him pain…and yourself pain…so sleep…alone…the way it should be…

Even has he fell into a lonely dream world, the tears did not stop. The little voice in his head was right. He needed to be alone…he needed to dream of Reece…to dream of Akihiko…to merely dream of someone he loved, he was sure that that would be enough.

* * *

~In Akihiko's room~

Akihiko finally managed to get up off the floor of the living room…he drug himself to bed…with a smile still lingering on his face. He closed his eyes, and lay stretched out on his back.

_I love him…how did it even come to this…I thought I would never love anyone but Takahiro…but now…I love him…his smile…his laugh…his music…his movements…his eyes…his lips…his mystery…his everything…makes my heart race…makes my mouth dry…how did this happen…how did that boy even manage to break open my calloused heart…I was so used to being on the outside of love…so used to being alone, with only my dreams to keep me sane…but now, I don't know if I could breathe without him…could he ever love me in return…I want to hold him…I want to show him how much I care…I want him to know I'll never abandon him…if he would only stay by my side…that would be enough…for all eternity, I would be content…_

Akihiko finally drifted from his thoughts and began to dream. The smile never leaving his face.

* * *

~Back in Misaki's room~

Misaki lay curled into a ball in his bed…half asleep, half awake.

'_he is like fire…my fire…'_

…and you, are ice…

To Be Continued.

* * *

+ Passage from Misaki's Journal +

_I miss you. I miss everything about you._

_How could you leave me like this? Before I ever showed you I loved you._

_I need you. _

_In my dreams, I see you_

_And as painful as it is, it's all that I can do._

* * *

**A/N: I received this review, and since I cannot directly message this person, I thought I would post my response here…**

"**Your writing is perfectly fine, well described and grammatical, but I think your characterisation needs a lot of work. You have portrayed Misaki as a Mary-Sue - he's good at everything from cooking, taking care of children, playing the piano to an unreasonable standard. Doctors call him up for diagnoses? That's not feasible or in character. The other characters were fine - it's just Misaki would be Mary-Sue-ish even for an OC, not even to mention the original character, and I just can't read this because of it." – sorry but,**

**I have to disagree. I have mirrored Misaki's dreamy personality off of someone I actually know (a gay guy) who can do all of these things. I kept the cooking and cleaning because it was a vital part of the original story…however, I do not think it is unrealistic to be that musically inclined…as for being good with kids, that is just a character trait that is important in a man for me…I didn't mean to make Misaki seem "mary-sue". And Nowaki is Misaki's best-friend, and he is a medical **_**student**_**…not a doctor…since I am a nursing student, I mirrored Misaki's medical knowledge and the ability to help his friend with the way my fellow students and me are…I also wanted to show that Misaki spent a lot of time alone, with a lot of free time…and because of this, he became well versed in the medical field. While I disagree with you're your comments, I appreciate them…if anyone else feels the same please do not hesitate to let me know. I will assure you though, 'sorry but,' that I have completed the chapter's where you get to admire Misaki's talents, and heart-warming characteristics…I will now be focusing more on his emotions and inner battles…explaining why he has become so jaded. Thank you again for taking the time to read my story…and I am terribly sorry that my envisionment of Misaki was unclear, and therefore not to your liking…however if you do continue to read…which I would love…I hope you can give me more feedback. I will most likely have Misaki display his talents again, but not nearly as heavily. **

**To all my other readers, please let me know your honest opinions as well…they do not hurt my feelings…I enjoy them because they help me grow as a writer…and they give me a chance to better explain myself. **

**Till my next chapter is out! TTYL**

**Signed – mypieceofmind – Jess B.**


	11. Chapter 11: Fire and Ice

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**A/N: Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out tomorrow…and I am going to the midnight showing…I am SUPER excited…I know…I'm a nerd, but what can I say…I love the movies…(but I love the books more ****)…so I have decided to mesh a little twilight reference into this chapter…for those of you who enjoy Twilight, I hope you like it…for those of you who don't like twilight…it will only be this chapter, so don't be too upset with me…thanks a lot…**

**Fire and Ice**

Akihiko was now very used to waking up to the sounds of music and clatter in his kitchen…it drove him insane sometimes, but it never failed to bring a smile to his face. He rolled his sleepy self out of bed, and drug his feet to the hallway. Playing through Misaki's speakers was a song he recognized…it was Rob Pattinson's song used in the first Twilight movie…

"Isn't that from the movie Twilight?" Akihiko asked coming down the stairs.

"Mm. yeah, it is…why?" Misaki said while finishing breakfast.

"I didn't know you were a fan…" Akihiko slid himself, still hugging Suzuki-san, down at the dining room table.

"I'm not really. I haven't watched any of the movies. I did read all the books though, so you could say I am a fan of Stephanie Myers'…Nowaki made me listen to the soundtrack, and I liked this song." Misaki turned around, carrying two plates, and headed to the table.

"Why haven't you seen the movies? I mean if you liked the books?" Akihiko watched as Misaki's eyes grew sad at his question.

"I was supposed to see the first one with a friend, and never got the chance to…after that I just never really felt like going, that's all." Misaki tried to hide the pain…but it was almost too much. The past few days he had been having the same argument with the little voice in his head…over and over again. It had significantly decreased his usual well-faked high-spirits.

_It must have been Reece…damn it…I want to ask…I want to know…_but Akihiko decided against it, just before letting the man's name slip out of his mouth. He didn't want to cause Misaki any more pain…and besides…he didn't want Misaki to be mad that he read his journal, then talked to his best-friend behind his back. Instead, he just watched in silence while sharing breakfast with the newest object of his affection.

"Oh. I forgot to tell you, I have a friend stopping by in a minute…she has a showcase coming up and she is in a panic…I told her I'd help…I hope you don't mind…that's actually why I was listening to that song earlier…" Misaki said while getting up to clean his plate.

"Showcase?" Akihiko was a little confused.

"Yeah. She does ballet, or well…a ballet style of interpretative dancing. And it is to one of the songs from that movie, so I guess I was just getting myself in the mood." As soon as Misaki finished explaining, the doorbell rang.

* * *

Misaki walked to the door and opened it slowly. The door then flung open with force…a tall, slender girl came busting through. "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT! I FREAKING QUIT MISAKI! I AM SO DONE WITH THIS…I CAN'T FIGURE ANYTHING OUT…" Akihiko was surprised as the brunette beauty made her way in. She was yelling, and carrying a keyboard…and she was barely wearing anything…just a pair of tights and what looked like a one piece swimming suit that cut down her midsection, separating her breasts, and exposing her belly button.

"Calm down tiny dancer," Misaki said in a sarcastic tone, "just breathe and tell me what the problem is."

The young girl sighed as she sat on the arm of the couch. Her big brown eyes had purplish bags underneath them…she looked exhausted. "Oh Misaki…the showcase is in 10 days…and I just…I can't come up with anything that feels right for the end of my routine…I don't know what to do…" The tears were threatening to burst out at any minute.

"Ok. Well first let me see that keyboard (Misaki grabbed it out of the girl's clutches)…show me how much of the routine you already have done." Misaki rubbed his head with his fingers and sat at the dining room table with the keyboard. "You're dancing to 'Bella's lullaby' right?"

"Yeah. The song Edward composed for Bella in the movie…" She replied weakly, "But I can't show my whole routine without a partner…I didn't even think about the fact that you couldn't do it since you were gonna be playing for me…"

"You're partner is pretty much an unmoving object right?" Misaki said, pressing a few keys.

"Uh-huh," the girl eyed Misaki carefully…

"Then let Usami stand in…(Misaki turned a pleading glare to Akihiko)…Usami you don't mind do you? I am sure Mai can let you know when you need to move…(he looked back at Mai)…can't you?"

"Sure. If he doesn't mind…" Mai turned and shot a bright smile in Akihiko's direction. It had been a long while since he danced…but he was not ignorant to it…besides…he was feeling rather generous today.

"That's just fine. I don't mind at all." Akihiko returned a stunning smile to the young girl standing in front of him. She clapped her hands with excitement and then placed Akihiko in the spot she wanted him.

"Misaki…whenever you're ready," Mai had positioned herself directly in front of Akihiko. She had her small back placed against his front…she had her hands clasped in front of her chest, and her head tipped down to the floor. Misaki nodded then began to play.

He watched carefully as Mai began to dance…lifting herself high on her tippy toes. He could see her whisper to Akihiko anytime he needed to move…and he was doing surprisingly well. Misaki watched as he moved in time with the song, touched Mai at all the right moments…helping her glide through each movement…(which made Misaki a little jealous, not that he would show it…or admit it)…

All of a sudden Misaki realized he was being dazzled…the way Akihiko looked at Mai…the way his hands ran up and down her body during one part of the dance…it was…sexy…intense…and quite frankly infuriating…he found himself somehow more pissed than he thought he'd be.

Finally, he got to the last 40 seconds of the song…and Mai stopped…"It's right here…I just can't come up with a good way to slow down, then speed up, then slow down to the end again…"

"Misaki, do you mind if I handle this…I think I have a good idea…" Akihiko said. He had forgotten how much he liked to dance. It had been years since he had done so…but he was having so much fun right now, and ideas for endings were slinging themselves all through his head.

"Mm. Sure." Misaki was not happy. He didn't want to watch Usami touch her…he was enchanted by how elegantly the man moved, but was not ok with Mai as his partner…in such a…passion filled dance. Misaki was also slightly baffled…_where did he learn to dance anyway…what the hell…_

Lost in his thoughts, Misaki completely missed the conversation between Mai and Akihiko. He didn't even notice they had come up with something until Akihiko spoke, "Ok Misaki, please begin from about 2 minutes 30 seconds in…"

Misaki nodded, still too irritated to really say anything, and then began to play. He had his eyes locked on the performance. Right about the time when Mai had stopped before…Misaki watched as Mai and Akihiko performed a beautiful lift, just as the music slowed down…Akihiko had Mai at his side, holding her with one arm, as the other hand pressed against her face and tangled into her hair.

Akihiko's expression was that of undying love; he then lowered Mai down his body…and just as the music picked up, her toes touched the ground and Akihiko began to spin her…rapidly, along with the music…it was perfect…it was a beautiful addition.

Then as the music came to an end…Akihiko pulled Mai into him…he lifted one of her legs up to his hip, and he dipped her backwards…slowly bringing his face closer to hers…and Misaki lost it, for the first time since he perfected his piano playing…he missed a note…he actually screwed up the ending.

Akihiko noticed and he turned his head…he loved what he saw…which was a very flustered young boy now standing at the table…all he could do was smile. Misaki would never admit it, but he was jealous.

"That was perfect! Thank you so much Usami-san!" Mai threw her arms around Akihiko's neck, which made Misaki even more pissed…"Now I just hope my actual partner can do it as good as you…have you been dancing long…you were really good…"

"I took classes a long time ago…my mom was really pushy when it came to stuff like that, but it has been a while…It was a lot of fun, and you were a pleasure to dance with…I am sure your showcase will turn out wonderful." Akihiko just smiled down at her.

After a little more conversation, Misaki settled himself down. The three drank tea, and talked for about half an hour before Mai finally gathered her things to leave. She said her good-byes…then headed out the door.

Misaki followed shortly after. He was thankful that Usami said nothing about his obvious jealousy at the end…he just wanted to get to class asap, and try to forget what happened.

* * *

It was dark outside when Misaki finally got home. He had stayed late to study, then decided to do a little research in the library. Although, none of that stopped him from thinking about Akihiko all damn day. As soon as he walked in…he searched for him…he wanted to hold him…kiss him…and feel his fiery touch.

Akihiko was taken by surprise when Misaki came into his study (which he never did) and through his arms around his shoulders. Akihiko gasped as Misaki began teasing the sensitive skin on his neck; biting gently…making trails with his warm tongue…tugging at his ear, and then releasing small breathy noises.

"Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice," Misaki whispered, pressing his lips gently against Akihiko's neck,

"From what _I_ have tasted of desire," He kissed his neck this time, biting softly,

"I hold with those who favor fire…"

* * *

Akihiko growled in a low and quiet tone. He pulled the tempting boy from around his back and onto his lap, with Misaki's legs on either side of him…both of them now sitting in his computer chair.

"But if I had to perish twice," this time it was Akihiko, brushing his lips against Misaki's…their foreheads pressed together.

"I think I know enough of hate,

To say that for destruction…ice," He gave Misaki a gentle kiss,

"Is also great…and would suffice."

He then lifted his face to meet Misaki's and claimed his lips…locking him into a passionate kiss.

* * *

"I want you…" Akihiko said between kisses.

"I want you too…" Misaki answered in the same manner.

That was all he needed to hear. Akihiko began to quickly undress the both of them, never breaking from the kiss. His entire body was trembling with desire…he had been dreaming of this…Misaki stood, allowing Akihiko to take off his pants and boxers. He stared at the boy in front of him, being sure to take the sight in fully.

He was more beautiful naked than Akihiko had imagined. His eyes trailed from his toned shoulders and arms, to his perfect milky chest, down to his small belly button which rested directly in the center of the sexy V that dipped into his lower abdomen…defining his hips. Misaki's cock was much bigger than he had expected…it was hard, and throbbing.

Before Akihiko could even finishing taking the view in…Misaki lowered himself to his knees. He relieved Akihiko from his pants and boxers, then began to slowly stroke his member.

"Mmmmm….ahh…Misaki," Akihiko moaned, throwing his head back. His eyes widened in surprise as Misaki placed his warm mouth over the head, teasing the slit with his moist tongue. Akihiko was becoming breathless. Misaki's head bobbed up and down his shaft…the pace quickening.

"Ah…Misaki…stop…I'm gonna…ahhh," Akihiko came deep into Misaki's throat…earning a gratified moan from the boy that vibrated his throbbing cock.

* * *

Misaki then lifted himself up, and returned to his spot on Akihiko's lap in the chair. He kissed him…deep…sucking him off, and hearing him moan like that had nearly driven him to his limit. As he kissed him, Misaki began to grind his hips. He could feel Akihiko hardening beneath him.

"ahhh…umm…" he moaned into Akihiko's mouth when he felt the older man begin to pump him. His hands…setting his skin on fire…driving him mad with pleasure…his heart was beating so fast that he was sure he would die…

"I…I can't….ahhhh…Akihiko…please…" Misaki moaned breathlessly between hot kisses, then he came…covering both their chests in hot liquid…

* * *

Akihiko leaned down and licked the sticky fluid from Misaki's chest…he felt him tremble beneath his tongue…and moan…loud. Akihiko then moved his mouth over one of his hardened nipples…at the same time he placed three fingers into Misaki's mouth…which the boy coated in saliva.

Akihiko lifted his lips back up to Misaki's and gave him a slow, passionate kiss…holding him there while he slipped one finger into his entrance. Misaki moaned and scrunched his face a little. After moment Akihiko added another…stretching him…scissoring him. Then a third, pushing his fingers in and out…listening to Misaki's breathing grow rapid. Once he felt that Misaki was ready, he pulled his fingers out.

* * *

Misaki groaned, displeased that Akihiko had removed his fingers…as strange as the feeling was, it was more pleasurable than painful. He then broke from the kiss and placed his forehead on Akihiko's hot, sweaty shoulder, lifting himself up just enough for his partner to place his rock hard erection at his entrance. He noticed that Akihiko stopped, he was panting, trembling, and waiting.

Misaki looked into his passionate amethyst eyes, "Please Akihiko…I want you…" he said in a low breathy tone. "Nnnn…ahhh…" Misaki was unaware of how loud he was moaning, and through the pain he then began to slide himself down, taking Akihiko inside himself completely.

* * *

Akihiko paused, waiting for Misaki's body to adapt to him. He was tight and hot…and after a moment he could no longer contain himself. He started thrusting into Misaki, lifting his slick body by his hips…helping him move up and down. The more erotic noises Misaki made, the faster his desire made him go.

"Misaki…" Akihiko whispered in his ear. He held him tight against his body, as Misaki started riding him on his own. He moaned and growled, enjoying every sensation rushing through him. He wanted so bad to whisper 'I love you' to tell his young lover that he would never leave him…never abandon him; but he keep quiet, too afraid of what Misaki's response would be.

Akihiko stood, still deep inside Misaki, and carried him into his own room. He laid Misaki down, and immediately began to thrust into him once again.

* * *

Misaki's body was hot, all over…every inch of his skin was burning…stinging with lust…set ablaze by Akihiko's touch. His sweet spot being hit…over and over…he could almost take no more.

"Ahhh…nnngg…Akihiko…I'm gonna cum…please…" Misaki's entire body was immersed in pleasure…waves of heat flowing through him. He felt complete when Akihiko's lips captured his. His finger's gripped into his back…and then they both shared their release…collapsing into each other…breathless.

Akihiko wrapped Misaki in a warm embrace after rolling off of him and placing them both under the covers. He lay on his side, and nuzzled his face into Misaki's damp hair, loving the feeling of his back pressed into his chest.

* * *

"Misaki…stay with me…"

Misaki's eye widened, "I can't…"

"Why?" Akihiko gripped tighter.

_Because you are fire…and I am ice… _"I can't fall for you Akihiko…and staying here with you tonight…waking up with you…I just can't."

"Misaki…I'm falling in love with you…" Akihiko couldn't help himself. He disregarded his fear, and spoke without thinking.

"Don't…don't do this…don't say that...I…I can't…" Misaki answered pulling away from him, sitting up on the edge of the bad.

"Why Misaki…Why?" Akihiko sounded desperate, his heart was hurting and he felt like he would cry at any minute…

"Because, I just can't. You need to stop yourself…now…before it's too late…"

"Is it because of Reece?" Akihiko sat up.

* * *

Misaki spun around, staring deeply into Akihiko's eyes. "What? What the hell Akihiko! How did you-" Misaki stopped for a second, then stood up…"That son of a bitch…it was Nowaki wasn't it…what the fuck!"

He knew he had made a mistake, but this was killing him…he wanted to love this boy…with everything he had… "Misaki…please…let me love you…forever…I won't leave you like he did." Tears began to stream down Akihiko's face.

Misaki made his way to the door, and as he was holding the handle, without even turning around, he spoke in a very low voice, "Akihiko…this isn't Twilight…you can't love me forever…so just stop…now."

What Akihiko didn't see were the tears falling from Misaki's eyes, and the heartbreak on his face.

To Be Continued.

* * *

**a/n: ok so the songs in this are again real. The first mentioned is Rob Pattinson's 'Let me sign'. The second is called 'Bella's Lullaby'. The poem that Misaki and Akihiko is also real…it is entitled 'Fire and Ice' by Robert Frost. It is recited at the beginning of the movie Eclipse. Hope everyone enjoyed.**

**P.S. this was my first attempt at a sex scene ever…so please let me know if it was ok…thanks.**


	12. Chapter 12: Whiskey Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Whiskey Tears**

* * *

_the sweet moon and __**amethyst sea**__  
all glistening in bleak sickness which binds human beings  
until they bleed, paint, and muse  
like renegades  
liquid steel and __**molten emerald**__ flows from the summit where we  
made love in the fluent calculus of summer_

* * *

Misaki was drunk…he sat in the chilly night air…swinging gently on a green bench that hung from a thick tree limb. He thought about everything…as the whiskey burned his throat with each sip. His eyes were still stained with tears…his heart in pieces…he was hurting so much that he was nearly numb…only the feeling of the wind, that made his hair flow around his face, was registering in his mind.

_I hate my-self….here I go again…hurting someone…his eyes…those beautiful violet eyes…they were filled with pain…and desperation._

…leaving him was right…and you know it…you're getting too attached…too comfortable…you're falling in love…so making him despise you is your best option…stay frozen…it's where you belong…

_I can't believe Nowaki told him about Reece…that was a name I didn't need to hear…my heart can't take hearing about him…thinking about him…only when I sleep am I able to dream of him without crying…_

…and he left you…alone…there is no way he could have been in love with you…who would be…Usagi-san was probably just lying too…

_Mm. that's right…but it still pisses me off…who does Nowaki think he is…telling my business to Akihiko like that…I mean really…I am not even sure of what all he told him…what if he told him…no…there's no way he knows….is there?_

…you should go ask him…yell at him…some best friend he is…you have every right to be angry…why don't you go let him hear about it…

_Yeah…you're right…I should…I need to know what he said to Akihiko…I need to know…how much he knows…_

* * *

Misaki stood, nearly falling as he bolted the swing backwards with his forceful movements. He took another sip from his flask…savoring the quick blast of heat that the whiskey gave him. Then he, at 2 in the morning, stormed off towards Nowaki's apartment.

Nowaki was jarred awake by the sound of his apartment door slamming open. He looked at the clock…it was 2:36 a.m. He climbed out of bed…_Misaki is the only one with a key…_before he could even reach the door of his room, Misaki thrust it open.

"Who in the _HELL_ do you think you are Nowaki? What makes you think you have the right to tell Usami a damn thing about Reece?!" Nowaki could smell the feint odor of whiskey as Misaki spewed his words of anger.

* * *

"Misaki. You're drunk. Calm down, and I will talk to you about it ok?" Nowaki let out a sigh and curled his fingers around Misaki's wrist. Much to his surprise, Misaki yanked away at his touch…causing himself to lose balance. Nowaki reacted quickly to grab him, but ended up crashing to floor on top of him instead.

Nowaki studied Misaki's face, lit up only by the moonlight streaming through the window. His soft, brown hair was wisped around, revealing the full area of his face. Nowaki stared, enchanted by the emerald eyes, glazed and holding him in place. Misaki's cheeks were tinged a rouge color due to the alcohol…and he was panting, from what Nowaki guessed, the rushed walk over. His moist, full lips were parted slightly, almost trembling with each breath he took.

"Misaki…are you ok?" Nowaki's words were struggling to escape through his rapid heartbeat…his voice was a low whisper.

"What did you tell him…what did you say to him about Reece?" Misaki said in a still angry but now calmed tone.

"I only told him that he was a foreign exchange student we met in middle school…that he was your best friend…and then when you were 15…he vanished without a word…" Nowaki could barely breathe. He spoke only inches away from the lips he had wanted to claim for years.

"Why? Why did you tell him..." Misaki's eyes seemed to be desperately searching Nowaki's…they were intense…and only increased Nowaki's pulse.

"He said he found that picture, of the three of us…" That was all Nowaki could manage to say…he felt like he could hold back no longer. Misaki sat in silence…staring up at him…

* * *

"Misaki…I want you to be happy…happy with me," Nowaki said, closing the distance between them. He knew Misaki was drunk, and upset…but he couldn't stop himself. He pressed his lips onto Misaki's…as gently as he could…he wanted him…he wanted so bad for Misaki to love him.

Misaki's eyes widened in surprise, and he couldn't process what was happening…he made no move to push Nowaki away…he simply lay in shock as his best friend kissed him.

Nowaki pulled away, he looked deeply into those green eyes…trying to find some clue as to what Misaki was thinking. He quickly changed their positions. Nowaki was now sitting, with his back against his bed, and Misaki straddling him on his lap.

Just as Misaki was about to say something, Nowaki pressed his index finger to Misaki's lips…"let me be what you need…who you need…just close your eyes…and let me become who you need Misaki." With that Nowaki claimed the younger boy's lips again…this time more passionately.

* * *

_Ice…cold…his lips on mine…they are warm, but not fire…his touch only temporarily warms my skin…I want that fire…_

...hurt him…if he wants to be what you need…then let him comfort you…it's not gonna hurt someone who is frozen…you have nothing to lose…

Misaki began to return the kiss, it made Nowaki's heart nearly beat out of his chest. He slid his hands beneath Misaki's white button up shirt…letting his hands memorize every contour of Misaki's body.

_**Numb… **_(Misaki's thoughts)

He had wanted this for so long…to embrace him…to feel him, everywhere…and it was happening…Misaki was giving in.

Nowaki slowly undid the buttons of Misaki's shirt, and then peeled it off. As happy as he was, he noticed that Misaki made no move to resist…but no move to intensify either. Then he placed his hands on the boy's hips and pulled him into him…closer…without breaking the lip-lock…

_**No fire…no burn…numb…**_

Misaki softly moaned at his actions. Nowaki finally released the lips he had longed for, for so long. He began to trail kisses down Misaki's neck…letting his hands cover every inch of his torso.

_**Ice…no tingle…no burn…just more cold…**_

He reached the sensitive space above Misaki's collarbone and began to tease with his tongue and teeth, causing Misaki to gasp…and make small pleasure noises.

_**It feels good…but not 'hot'…**_

Nowaki let his hand glide to the crotch of Misaki's pants…he rubbed it over the fabric…feeling himself getting harder and harder with each second…

"Mmm…aaannhh…" The more soft noise's Misaki made…the faster and more fervent Nowaki became…but then…

_**It's not the same…it's not what I need…I need…**_

"Ahhh…Aki…Akihiko"

* * *

Nowaki's eyes widened…he stopped all his movements…all he could hear was his heart shattering…all he could feel were the razorblade stings echoing through his body…

Misaki…it was too late…the boy he had loved for so very long…was too far from his reach…tears began to threaten to fall, but he held them back…

"Misaki…I think you should go home…you're…you're really drunk…and it's really late…" Nowaki wanted to die…he wanted to be alone…he thought if only he could express his feelings physically…that Misaki would understand, but he was wrong…so wrong…and now…

Misaki stood up and placed his shirt on…his eyes never uncovered by his bangs…never leaving the floor. He left the apartment in silence…leaving Nowaki with his un-spilled tears…

* * *

_I…I didn't mean to…say Akihiko's name…I don't know where that came from…I just…I just needed his fire…my fire…I needed Akihiko…_

…he hates you now…and that is for the best…he has been around for a while…but his time to abandon you would have come soon…you should be alone…and frozen…

_Alone….frozen….ice….the way I should be…_

To Be Continued.

A/N: sorry it took so long for me to update…I will try to on Wednesday too…but it is so close to finals that I am just a little busier. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed…please review and let me know what you think!

P.s. (SukiSushi123) I don't mean to disappoint, but I just didn't think it was a good Idea for Misaki and Nowaki to go all the way….but here soon…our other egoist comes in! Guess now him and Hiroki have gone through a similar experience don't ya think? Ttyl.


	13. Chapter 13: As many times as it takes

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**As many times as it takes**

* * *

_Breathing without you is toxic._

_I can't apologize for what I have done._

_But I can reach out,_

_And tell you everything._

* * *

It had been a full two week of silence…deafening silence. Akihiko had locked himself in his study, hardly making an appearance in any other area of the apartment. He could claim it was for work, which was partly true, but Misaki was not stupid…he was avoiding him…and vice versa.

It was starting to drive Misaki insane. The constant dreams…of the amethyst skies…the pouring rain…and the fire, erupting out of a frozen lake. It was the same dream, over and over, it was almost calling to him…telling him something.

Misaki stood in the kitchen, listening to Mozart, and cooking breakfast. His thoughts were reeling inside his head…he slammed the knife on the counter…and headed up the stairs, completely resolved to fix this broken…_thing_…between them.

Akihiko was startled when his study door was opened, rather harshly. He jumped a little at the noise, but then spun his chair around slowly to look at the boy he knew had just entered. His heart was bleeding, he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing those big green eyes at the moment.

"Don't turn around." Misaki said in a very 'matter-of-fact' tone. Then he lowered his voice, "This will be easier if you're not looking at me."

Akihiko stopped his chair and turned back to his original position. He was relieved that he didn't have to stare in to those breath-taking emerald eyes, but at the same time he was nervous, scared, and curious of what was to come.

* * *

"We met when I was 11…(Akihiko's eyes grew big, and his heart clenched in his chest)…he had come over from America as a foreign exchange student. (Misaki's words trembled). He had golden, blonde hair…that fell over his eyes just barely, and he had the most intensely beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. His skin was tanned, and weathered. He was pretty stocky for 12, and kind of intimidating…but something about him…made me want to know him…and apparently he felt it too…because after we talked for the first time, that was it…we were inseparable.

(Tears dripped slowly from Misaki's eyes, but his words did not falter) He taught me how to speak, read, and write English…and I taught him Japanese. Thankfully we both picked up on things pretty quickly…because we were fluent in no time. He played the guitar, and before long…he taught me that too. He used to sing…in this sincere, strong, sweet voice…When we got older, he started adding songs to my i-pod, and after I heard them…I would learn them, and play them on any instrument I could find…I never knew I loved music until Reece…anyway, we were like that for four years. We did everything together. Everything from playing sports, to watching the sunset, and playing music, constantly learning from one another.

(Akihiko wanted to plug his ears…he wanted to scream at him to stop…but he couldn't…he wanted to know, Misaki was opening up to him…and he wanted to know everything about him) He was exactly what I needed. He was my best friend…my everything really. I had been pretty depressed for 3 years, always worrying about causing trouble, shutting the entire world out. Reece, made it go away…he was like a breath of fresh air to my lungs. Looking back on it now, I was in love with him from day one…but I…I was so oblivious to it back then…so I never told him…hell I didn't even know it till he was gone.

(Misaki had to swallow back tears) On October 17, when I was 15…Reece left; he took a picture of a place that only we would know…of our spot…and he left in on my pillow…without a word…he was gone. The only things I have left of him now are my purple flask, his playlist, his first guitar, and his white hoddie…and those pictures of course. I have lots of pictures…and if you want, one day I will show you."

There was a heavy silence in the room. For several moments, neither one of them spoke. Neither one of them knew what to say. Misaki then stood up, abandoning the couch across from Akihiko's desk. He walked slowly over and leaned into Akihiko's ear…making sure that the violet eyed author still could not see him…

"I don't want to fight…I don't want to keep secrets…I'll tell you anything you want to know…about me…about my past…about…Reece…just don't avoid me. Akihiko, Reece never loved me, so please…just don't ignore me…I am sorry I can't love you…and it is only best if you never love me…but I can't stand you not speaking to me…" After whispering to Akihiko, Misaki left the room…without another word.

* * *

Akihiko just sat there, taking in everything Misaki had just said. He didn't understand…Reece most obviously loved him…the way he was looking at him in that picture…there was no mistaking it. But why did he leave? Akihiko pondered, for a long time…completely forgetting his work, and his deadline…he just sat there…trying to understand, everything.

Finally he decided that he too, wanted to say some things to Misaki. So Akihiko made his way to the study door, and opened it slowly. He could hear the guitar…coming from the living room.

Misaki was sitting in living room, on the couch, looking up towards Akihiko's study door. He wanted to play him something…he knew that he communicated better through music, than stumbling over his own words…he strummed the strings lazily…thinking about all the things he wanted to say. Then he heard the door open, and he saw those amethyst eyes…watching him from the banister.

(the italics are the song words…the regular text is the movements between Akihiko and Misaki)

* * *

The song sounded country; it was slow…and resonated beautifully through the open living room. Akihiko was not expecting the words, or the meaning of the song and it caught him completely off guard.

_You gave me chances…and I let you down_

_You waited for words that, I couldn't get out…_

Misaki lifted his eyes, being sure to lock in on Akihiko's. Akihiko listened carefully as Misaki's voice glided through the room, filled with a very tender, sincere sound. His heart began to pound.

_I have no excuses, for the way that I am_

_I was clueless and I couldn't understand…_

_That all that you wanted and all that you needed was a side of me I never let you see_

_And I wish I could love you, and make you believe it_

_Cuz that's all you ever wanted, that's all you ever wanted…from me…from me_

Akihiko slowly stared to walk down the stairs, listening closely to every word the beautiful boy sang…it was pulling at him…hard…

_Could I be selfish? Or lost in my pride?_

_Afraid to be forward? Or just too scared to try?_

_Now I'm without you, and it took distance to see that losing you means losing everything_

Those emerald eyes…looked straight at him…they held so much emotion…so many unspoken feelings…Akihiko reached the bottom of the steps and froze.

_When all that you wanted, and all that you needed_

_Was a side of me I never let you see_

_And I wish I could love you and make you believe_

_Cuz that's all you ever wanted, all you ever wanted…from me_

Misaki closed his eyes, his body had be swaying along with his playing…and now he looked more beautiful than before, pouring everything he had into the song…trying desperately to convey everything within him…Akihiko walked over, and sat beside him…watching…listening…waiting…

_Well is it too late? And are you too far…to turn around…and let me be…_

_Let me be…_

_All that you wanted and all that you needed_

_I'll show the side of me I never let you see_

_I wish I could love you and make you believe it_

_Because it's all you ever wanted…all you ever wanted…_

_All you ever wanted…from me_

* * *

That was it. Akihiko knew there was no way that he could ever let Misaki go. He didn't care anymore about whether or not he wanted him to say 'I love you', he would tell him as many times as it took to make him believe it. Akihiko wanted him…loved him…and absolutely had to have him…the small traces of feelings still lingering for Takahiro vanished.

"Misaki…(Akihiko stood up. He placed both hands onto the back of the couch, on either side of Misaki…causing the young brunette to slide backwards, only the guitar between them…) I love you…I will tell you as many times as it takes…you don't have to say it back…you don't have to fall in love with me…but I will tell you I love you…until the day you die…because I have to have you…I will never let you go, and I will never leave you…I can no longer breathe without you…I love you Misaki…"

Before Misaki could protest, or even comprehend everything this violet eyed man had said to him…Akihiko pressed his lips to his. The fire…it completely took Misaki over. His mind burned…his heart burned…his lips burned…everything…everything was on fire, and he kissed back, moving his face forward to deepen the sensation.

Misaki lifted one hand off the guitar, and clutched onto Akihiko's shirt collar, pulling him deeper, and deeper.

* * *

~Misaki's thoughts~

_There is only one thing in life I am sure of right now…as wrong as it is…as painful as this will be…I know…I am completely, irrevocably in love with him…I can never say it…but I cannot deny this feeling anymore…_

* * *

"I love you…" Akihiko said breathlessly between kisses. Chills shook Misaki's body…his entire core was set ablaze…those three words…moved him… "I love you," Akihiko said again. Another wave of fire and electricity shot through Misaki's body…"I love you."

To Be Continued.

* * *

A/N: ok the song in this is All you ever by Hunter Hays…I know the lyrics are all there, but I encourage everyone to go and listen to it.


	14. Chapter 14: Blush

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Blush.**

* * *

_I was lost in your words._

_The words that were never supposed to belong to me._

_Fire. Electricity. Waves of…_

_love, serenity, and ecstasy._

_If you speak once more, I may not be able to recover._

* * *

They had moved from the couch to Akihiko's dark, cold room. Even if his eyes weren't half-closed, in the dark atmosphere, Akihiko was all that he would have been able to see. His entire body was being overwhelmed, his entire mind – clouded by sensation, and his entire heart…swelling with emotion.

Akihiko's finger tips grazed over Misaki's shoulder, sending waves of electricity through him. Both men were panting heavily…but neither one said anything. They merely stayed entranced by one another's intense gaze.

Akihiko trailed his fingers down Misaki's arms, then back up. Then he ran both hands over the boy's milky chest, barely grazing over his sensitive nipples. He wrapped his fingers over each of Misaki's sides, and used his thumbs to gently caress his abdomen. He repeated these actions…over and over…silently saying 'I love you' with every touch.

* * *

Misaki was about to explode. He couldn't think, and he could barely breathe. His skin was on fire, every movement Akihiko made caused him to writhe inside. The way he was touching him, feeling him, and looking at him was enough to make him nearly die from overstimulation.

Misaki slowly lifted one of his hands, placing it on Akihiko's cool forearm. He let his fingers mirror Akihiko's previous movements. He ran them slowly up the man's forearms, gliding over his biceps…rounding delicately over his shoulder.

He then moved his fingertips over Akihiko's chest, he slide them down…down…and then finally back up…this time grazing over Akihiko's nipple…eliciting a low growl from the violet eyed author. Misaki then wrapped his hand behind Akihiko's neck, and entangled his fingers in the soft silver strands at the base of his neck.

Misaki tugged, slowly applying enough pressure to bring Akihiko's lips to his. "I love you," Akihiko whispered against Misaki's soft lips, before claiming them…gently.

Misaki didn't know what time it was…or how long they had been memorizing every inch of each other…but he no longer cared. This was not 'fucking', this was not 'having sex'…this was honest love-making, an experience Misaki had never been through.

The slow speed of everything was painful, but so very…perfect. He was lost in how Akihiko felt under his hands…lost in how his body reacted to Akihiko's touch…lost in the soft, passionate kisses…lost in the enticing way they were now gradually undressing one another.

* * *

One button.

Akihiko pressed his warm lips just below his ear.

Another button.

Akihiko kissed a little lower…Misaki hissed as he inhaled.

Another button.

Akihiko pressed his tongue against the sensitive area between Misaki's neck and shoulder.

"Nngh." Last button. Akihiko brought his lips to meet Misaki's.

Misaki leaned up and let his unbuttoned shirt slide achingly over his smooth skin. He pressed deeper into the kiss.

* * *

One button.

Misaki broke away from the kiss…keeping his face a mere centimeters from Akihiko's.

Another button.

Misaki kissed the side of Akihiko's swollen lips.

Another button.

Misaki moved to Akihiko's ear, he gently pressed his teeth against it…earning a satisfied moan from Akihiko.

"Mmmm" Last button.

Misaki put both his hands on Akihiko's shoulders, never taking his eyes off those amethyst crystals, and slide them down…removing Akihiko's shirt in the process.

Both men's pants came off in a similarly slow manner, accompanied by breathless kisses and soft noises of pleasure.

* * *

Akihiko rubbed Misaki's bare thighs. They were both sitting up, Akihiko's back pressed against his wooden head board. Misaki was straddling his lap, his knees pressed into the mattress.

Misaki trailed light, feathery kisses down Akihiko's neck, to his chest, to his abdomen…slowly moving his own body down, down, down. Akihiko gasped in ecstasy when he felt Misaki's hot tongue begin to tease the tip of his erection.

Misaki was nervous, but somehow got caught up in the flow of things. Without realizing it, he had begun to run his tongue up and down Akihiko's cock. He was surprised at how…good, it tasted. He reacted to each noise Akihiko made, memorizing what made the man feel the most pleasure, and then repeating it.

Akihiko wrapped both hands into Misaki's silky chestnut brown hair, and let out an innate growl as the boy put his entire length into his mouth and began to bob his head up and down slowly…

Once Misaki was satisfied, and just before his partner could handle no more…he stopped and repositioned himself over Akihiko's slick manhood.

Akihiko's eyes widened as Misaki began to lower himself down. It felt wonderful being engulfed by his tight, hot entrance. He closed his eyes and savored the intense feeling.

"Ahhh…" Misaki moaned once Akihiko was fully inside him. He closed his eyes and leaned into him, pressing his forehead against Akihiko's.

"Look at me," Akihiko whispered, "Don't hide from me Misaki"

Misaki leaned back and looked into Akihiko's beautiful violet eyes. Akihiko lifted his chin, and pressed his lips against Misaki's, with too much passion for the young boy to handle.

"Mmmm…" Misaki began to move himself up and down Akihiko's shaft, breaking away from the kiss and resting his head on Akihiko's shoulder…his hands gripped his shoulders.

"I love you…" Akihiko said into Misaki's ear. A wave of emotion rolled through Misaki's body…he wanted so badly to return those words…but he couldn't.

He began to pick up speed. His breath was heavy…and broken into small gasps and moans. He moved his hands away from Akihiko's shoulders and gripped the head board behind him.

Akihiko met him…thrust for thrust…groaning in pleasure as Misaki rode him fiercely. He could feel himself on the verge of climax, so he reached down and began to pump Misaki in time with their thrusting.

"Ahhh…nngghh…I'm…I'm gonna…Mmmm…Akihiko…" His name came out in a moan-like whisper as he came, covering both their bodies. Akihiko followed suit moments later.

* * *

"I love you," Akihiko said as he moved a few strands of damp hair from in front of Misaki's face. He lifted his limp body off of him, and laid Misaki down…beneath the covers…then pulled the exhausted boy into his embrace. "I love you," he said again as Misaki buried his face into his chest.

"Mm. I know." Misaki said, barely audible, before he drifted off into a heavy…peaceful sleep.

Akihiko wrapped his arms around him…trying to push the overwhelming love he felt for him into his body.

* * *

When Akihiko woke, he was alone. His heart began to race…pain shooting through him…he quickly got up, but then stopped as he reached his door.

The familiar smells…the sound of music muffled by the door…faint clinks of dishes…Misaki was there, he hadn't left him…he was simply cooking breakfast. A large smile covered Akihiko's face as he opened the door, and descended the stairs.

The song that was echoing through the kitchen was an American song…one that obviously Akihiko had never heard…he could barely hear Misaki's sweet voice singing along. The sight brought warmth rushing over him.

Misaki was lost in the music, focusing solely on finishing breakfast before Akihiko woke up. He nearly screamed out loud when he felt a pair of strong, warm arms wrap around his waist.

"Baka! Are you trying to scare me to death! Jeez…" Misaki said playfully as he tried to wriggle out of Akihiko's grasp. The larger man only gripped tighter. Misaki then felt a familiar hand run up his shirt…"Stop! Go sit down! I'm trying to cook here…" Misaki protested.

"Mmm," Akihiko hummed before gently biting Misaki's ear, "I love you," he whispered before releasing Misaki.

Misaki froze. The waves cascading over him, shaking his core. He could even feel a hint of heat rush to his cheeks.

Akihiko just smiled as he took his seat at the table. He had never seen Misaki blush before…_how cute_…he thought, before lighting a cigarette and shielding himself behind the morning paper.

To Be Continued.

* * *

A/N: sorry it took so long…the holidays had me pretty busy…please review and let me know what you think!

Baka = idiot


	15. Chapter 15: Comfortable

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Comfortable**

* * *

_Fading into a pattern of normal,_

_Feels so right._

_But, fading into comfortable…_

_Can be dangerous._

* * *

It had been several weeks, and everything was running very smoothly. The days were 'normal'. Misaki would wake up (either in his bed, or in Usagi's), cook breakfast, go to school, hang out with (someone…since Nowaki still wasn't ready to come around), come home, cook dinner, eat with Usagi, then either talk or watch movies or practice music. Some nights were spent cold and lonely, others were spent…well…hot and roughly.

The point was, Misaki was getting comfortable in his new cadence of life.

Akihiko finally decided to lift his hiatus; he had informed his publishing company that until things got settled with his new 'guest'…he would temporarily be taking a break. As soon as he told Aikawa, she squealed. He had been writing manuscripts, but he refused to meet about them…or let them be published…now he was ready to get back to work.

He too, was happy and comfortable in his new life…most of the time anyway.

* * *

Akihiko and Aikawa had been discussing his recent manuscripts for several new novels for about 6 hours. They were both so stubborn…so it was hard to get anywhere. They had been deadlocked on one particular piece for the last hour alone. Misaki watched quietly from the kitchen as he got things ready for lunch. He was meeting a friend to study soon, so he wanted to hurry and cook.

"Misaki…cook me an omelet…" Akihiko said, resting his chin on his hand. He had snuck away from his meeting and was now positioned directly in front of Misaki at the kitchen island.

Misaki let out a sigh, "Baka, I made omelets are for breakfast. Why do you want more omelets? And besides aren't you in the middle of a meeting?"

"Yes. I got bored; and I love omelets…they're just sooo…yellow" Akihiko stared out into space, and Misaki cocked and eyebrow at him.

Now that they were in a comfortable rhythm, Misaki was starting to uncover many new aspects of Usagi's personality, like his tendency to be very, very child-like. (He also found himself using the nickname 'Usagi' more often than not.)

"Well don't get bored and get back to your meeting." Misaki said, waving his hand in 'shoo, shoo' motion.

This time it was Akihiko that sighed. He huffed back to the couch and worked to finish his meeting quickly. Within minutes, he was back in front of Misaki…who was cooking vegetables and wieners in a skillet.

"Make them into octopuses…" Akihiko said, again leaning his chin into his hand on the island.

"What are you? In elementary school?" Misaki answered without looking up…_jeez, he really is just like a big kid…_then he peeked over to see the saddest pouty face a grown man could make…"Fine! Fine! Don't get all bummed! Here octopi…octopi…"

Akihiko smiled, then leaned in and planted a feathery kiss on Misaki's lips.

"Kyyyaaaa! You two are the cutest couple! You make the sexiest pair of lo-ve-rs!" Aikawa was in full fan-girl mode…

"I wouldn't call us 'lo-ve-rs', but either way…please refrain from going into fan-girl mode so loudly, my head can't take it." Misaki said as he put the fresh 'octopus' shaped wieners and vegetables on a plate. "I can't believe you even have the ability to switch to fan-girl mode so quickly…I mean you have been editing one of Usagi's novels, and they seem to be a little on the serious side…"

Aikawa's eyes got a little bigger, "It's easy because I'm currently editing one of Usami-sensei's BL novels…not his lit novels…" Aikawa glanced over at Akihiko who was studying the octopus wiener in his hand.

"I didn't know he wrote anything except for literature. So he writes for BL mangas too…wow…let me see the manuscript…" Misaki said has he made his way closer to Aikawa, discarding his green apron on the couch. Then he turned toward Akihiko (still entranced by the octopus wiener)…"And you! Eat the vegetables too…don't just play with the octopi and only eat them…" He then snatched the manuscript up off the table and began to read.

…_Misaki leaned into Akihiko's bare chest, planting delicate kisses…_

A few lines over

…"_cum for me Misaki…" Akihiko whispered, still thrusting._

Misaki was livid…he gripped the paper tightly, then shot a death glare towards Akihiko…"Are you _serious…_(he said through gritted teeth)…why the HELL did you write this? Without even asking me?" Misaki's voice was low and seething with anger.

Akihiko looked back at Misaki defiantly. "Don't worry I always included the statement 'this is a work of fiction, all characters are fictional regardless of the resemblance to anyone dead or alive'. And as for why…well because I want to."

"BECAUSE YOU WANT TO! REALLY, THAT'S THE BEST YOU GOT? WHAT THE HELL AKIHIKO!" Misaki yelled, and then began to rip the manuscript into little pieces. "I'm going to be late…I have to go."

Misaki stormed out of the apartment leaving Aikawa and Akihiko alone and in shock. "You didn't tell him?" Aikawa said staring up at her author.

"He'll be fine…" Akihiko answered, "Now I believe we are finished…so I'll see you next week."

Aikawa, still in shock at Misaki's outburst, left without yelling – for the first time ever.

* * *

Misaki stayed pissed. He couldn't even concentrate on studying that day. See, he wasn't really angry that Akihiko wrote the novels…and he wasn't really that mad that he was in them…what really upset him, was that those moments…those times with him…were, well…special and important to him; now they were just plastered for everyone to enjoy.

When Misaki was finally cooled down enough to face him, he returned to the apartment. When he came in it was dark…and really quiet. It wasn't normal, but he had to admit that the setting sun looked beautiful coming in through the big glass windows. Misaki slowly placed his things down, completely forgetting his anger, and moved closer to the windows. He stood in front of them, admiring the beautiful colors dancing behind skewed clouds.

Akihiko left his room, his heart was wrenching…he was more depressed than he had ever been. When he heard Misaki come in, he slowly walked to the inside balcony. His breath hitched in his throat when he caught a glimpse of Misaki, it only increased the pain he was feeling.

Misaki looked incredible. The pinks, oranges, and reds of the setting sun highlighted all his most alluring features. He looked…peaceful…beautiful…and perfect. Akihiko could only stare in wonder for several minutes.

He walked down the stairs and approached his young companion from behind.

Misaki was comforted by the familiar feeling of Akihiko's strong arms wrapping around him. He hummed softly, closing his eyes, and leaned back into the warmth that was Usagi.

Akihiko nearly cried when he heard the sounds of comfort coming from the man he loved. It was almost too much when he felt Misaki melt into him. He brought one of his hands up Misaki's chest and gently turned the green-eyed boys face to his, and pressed their lips together softly.

Misaki's lips were lit on fire. His entire body was warmed, but he felt…something…was different in this kiss…something he hadn't felt before. Akihiko's kisses were usually full of emotions like lust, love, desire, comfort, and passion. This kiss was…sad. It was…desperate. It was…full of longing, and sorrow. The passion and love were there, but this kiss was so sad.

* * *

Misaki broke away, looking up into those beautiful amethyst eyes with confusion. He was asking 'what is wrong' without words.

Finally Akihiko spoke, "Takahiro called."

"What? Nii-chan did? What did he say?" Now Misaki was worried…

"He and his wife are moving back…(Akihiko lowered his eyes, his tone turning sorrowful)…and he said to have your things ready to move back in with him."

Misaki's heart pounded in his chest. He felt like his entire world was crashing around him. He stood stunned, heart-broken, and out of breath…while he and Akihiko remained in their embrace and bathed in the disappearing colors of the evening sky.

To Be Continued.


	16. Chapter 16: I want to see you

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**I want to see you.**

* * *

_It is feathery, and light_

_It is soft, and tender_

_It leaves me breathless_

_Even if it is your fingertips grazing me as you leave_

* * *

Misaki and Akihiko did not say anything else about Takahiro's 'orders'. They had gone to bed without speaking. For the first time in about a week, Misaki slept alone in his own bed. He desperately wanted to be held by the man he had fallen for, but he knew just how painful that would be. It would be like throwing ice on a fire…both withering away to nothing in a matter of seconds. So he chose the pain he was used to…..loneliness.

The next morning, Akihiko woke to the sound of the phone ringing. Before he even made it to the door, Misaki had already picked it up.

"Hello. Ah, Nii-chan…how are you?...Mmm…good…oh…well…yeah…ok…sure…see you soon then…bye" Misaki placed the phone back on the base and went into the kitchen.

Akihiko slowly came down from his room. He was at a loss for words. There was so much he wanted to say to Misaki. So much he wanted to show him. His heart was worse off at this moment, than it was when Takahiro said he was getting married.

Misaki felt the familiar warmth of Akihiko as he wrapped his arms around him from behind. He could feel the silver strands of hair graze his neck as Akihiko rested his head on Misaki's back. "Good morning Usagi-san." Misaki said trying not to get lost in this embrace…his heart was already aching…he didn't want to make it any worse.

"Misaki…I…mmph" Akihiko started, but was quickly cut off by Misaki's soft lips capturing his. The kiss was gentle, but full. Then Misaki broke away and turned back towards the counter, "Don't…(Misaki hung his head down, and braced himself with both hands on the counter)…Please Akihiko…just don't say it, not now, not ever…ok?"

Akihiko's heart sank even lower in his chest, if that was possible. It felt like he was being hit with a ton of bricks. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to wrap Misaki in his arms and show him how much he loved him…but he didn't…he just released his embrace and stepped back.

* * *

"I am going to Osaka to visit Nii-chan for a week. When I get back, I'll pack up my things. My train leaves in an hour…" Misaki said as he released the counter and headed for the stairs. Within minutes, he emerged from his room with a duffle bag over one shoulder, and his guitar over the other. Just before he opened the door…he took one more glance at the amethyst eyed author who had captured his soul. He then left without saying a word. Good-bye would have been too painful, now he just prayed that this week in Osaka could rid him of these feelings…so that the next time he saw Akihiko…he could make it the last without crying.

Akihiko didn't move from his spot in the kitchen. He stood with his eyes focused on the floor; his heart shattering inside. He listened as Misaki walked up the steps…

_No! Don't go!_

He stood silent as he heard Misaki packing a bag for his trip…

_Stay with me! I love you! Please!_

He didn't move, he didn't reach out to grab him as Misaki came down the stairs…

_I love you so much. I want you. I need you. Misaki, please!_

Finally, Akihiko lifted his eyes. Standing at the door, with his hand on the knob…was Misaki…_his_ Misaki…staring at him, with those pure emerald eyes…the eyes that he had fallen helplessly in love with.

_Don't open the door! I love you! Please! Stay with me! I love you…I love you…I love you!_

And then he was gone.

* * *

Takahiro could see his brother suffering. He had no idea why, but the pain in his brother's eyes was unmistakable. The first day he arrived, Misaki said he was tired…so he went straight to bed – without eating. The second day, he didn't really talk too much…he was 'friendly' but Takahiro could see it was fake. As a matter of fact, Misaki hadn't said much at all for the past six days. There was something wrong.

Takahiro's wife noticed it too. She hadn't known Misaki long, but she could feel the heart-break surrounding him. His eyes glinted with loss. His features were shadowed with pain. His voice resonated sadness. Takahiro didn't hear it, but at night…sometimes she could swear she could hear him sobbing, tossing, and turning.

* * *

Misaki had hoped that the distance would help him dissolve his unspoken feelings for Akihiko, but he was wrong. If anything, it had made it worse. He spent the days comparing and contrasting his surroundings with his environment with Akihiko. He spent the nights writhing in desire, and pain. His entire body ached for Akihiko's touch…his fire…his icy world was swallowing him whole and he desperately needed that fire, even if only for a moment. He was being suffocated by separation, choked by loneliness, and it felt like at any minute…his heart would stop beating for all eternity. Miserable wasn't even close to adequately describing the past six days.

He wanted to see him. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to love him, to be able to say it out loud. He wanted to run his fingers over his smooth skin, and intertwine them in his soft hair. He wanted to kiss his soft, warm lips…and stare into his violet eyes. He wanted and needed everything about Akihiko…it was overwhelmingly painful.

* * *

Manami and Takahiro were standing in the kitchen. It was the sixth day of Misaki's visit and they both wanted to make a great dinner for him before he left tomorrow. They were talking, and preparing when they heard Misaki start to play the guitar. Shortly after he began to sing.

nee kimi wa ima dare o omotte iru no? (say, whom are you thinking about right now?)  
watashi wa kimi o omotte iru yo (as for me, I'm thinking about you.)

mado o akeru to kanjita (I could sense the scent of the night,)  
Ah yoru no nioi (ah, when I opened my window.)  
ima dare no kao ga (Right now whose face)  
kokoro no naka ni ukanda?(is surfacing in my mind?)  
tsumetai ame zubunure ni (When I was soaked from head to toe)  
natte'ta watashi ni (from the freezing rain.)  
kimi dake ga sono te o (you were the only one)  
sashinobete kureta'n da (who would offer me a hand.)

naze itsumo kimi na'n darou (Just why is it that you're always)  
sasaete kureru hito wa (the one giving me strength?)  
sono tabi (Whenever you do,)  
mata suki ni natte yuku (You're making me fall deeper in love.)

nee nani shite mo kimi ni aitaku naru yo (Say, I really want to see you.)  
suki ni naru tte kurushii'n da ne (Falling in love is quite painful)  
ureshiku naru no mo setsunaku saseru no mo (you're always the reason behind)  
itsu de mo riyuu wa kimi dake da yo (both my happiness and my pain)

sokkenai taido shite mata (Today, once again,)  
kyou ga sugite yuku (I'm pretending not to care,)  
hontou wa iya ni naru kurai (despite the fact that you've been on my mind)  
kimi ga ki ni naru no ni (to the point of making me annoyed)

doushite suki na hito ni (just why is that I'm unable)  
sunao ni narenai'n darou (to be honest with the person I love?)  
itsu de mo (I always end up)  
sabishisa no uragaeshi (lonely and miserable)

nee kizuite hoshii yo (Please, I wish you'd realize)  
heiki da yo tte (that I'm actually crying)  
tsutaeru toki hodo naite'ru koto (when I tell you I'm fine)  
miageta yozora (looking up at the night sky)  
hoshi ga kirei na dake de (and seeing the beautiful stars,)  
koko ni kimi ga ite kuretara tte (I wish you would be here with me)

soba ni irareta nara (if I could stay by your side…)

nee kimi wa ima dare o omotte iru no? (say, whom are you thinking about right now?)  
doushite kono kimochi osaekirenai no?(Why is that I'm unable to contain my feelings?)

nee nani shite mo kimi ni aitaku naru yo (say, I really want to see you)  
suki ni naru tte kurushii'n da ne (falling in love is quite painful)  
ureshiku naru no mo setsunaku saseru no mo (you're always the reason behind)  
itsu de mo riyuu wa kimi dake da yo (both my happiness and my pain)  
ima kimi o omotte'ru yo (I'm thinking about you right now)

nee aitai yo (I really want to see you.)

* * *

"I didn't know he was such a good singer…" Manami said quietly to her husband…who was standing just as still. "But what a terribly sad song…a beautifully sad song…"

"You should hear him play the piano or the violin if you think that was good. I'm worried about him now though…you are correct…the song was kind of sad." Takahiro answered his wife before turning around to finish preparing dinner.

After about 2 hours of cooking, dinner was finally done and the three family members sat down to eat. The conversations were light and happy. Manami asked about Misaki's music, complemented him, inquired about where he learned to play. Takahiro jumped in randomly with facts or memories pertaining to the subject. It was nice. However, Misaki couldn't help but long for the view of Akihiko sitting across from him.

His soft, silver hair shimmering in the morning sunlight, or eloquently glowing in the evening sun; his heart-stopping amethyst eyes twinkling as the light danced across them. His milky skin…his muscled arms…his smile…that was probably what Misaki was missing the most…his beautiful, radiant smile.

Misaki was snapped out of his day dream by his brother, "Misaki…Hey…Misaki…did you hear me?"

"Ah. No. Sorry, I was thinking...what was it that you said?" Misaki tried to focus this time.

"I said I am sorry it took so long for me to get you back, I know it is difficult living with Akihiko…he is a handful sometimes…I just think it's best for you to be in a family setting, and…" Takahiro was cut off.

Misaki was annoyed…what the hell did he mean 'difficult' and 'handful'…what is he sorry for? "Excuse me…but Usagi-san has been nothing but good to me…he is rather strange…but kind, and hardworking, gentle even…he is NOT difficult, and he is NOT a handful…and for your information, I never asked for a 'family setting'…" Misaki was growing louder with each sentence, so he decided it was time to go. "I'm leaving…look, I'm sorry for ruining the dinner, but I really just need to go back home…I have to start packing anyway…I'll call Akihiko from the station and let him know I'm catching the next train…"

* * *

Misaki left a stunned Takahiro and an intrigued Manami at the table. He was down the stairs, with his stuff, and out the door after saying a few last good byes. It was getting later, and not many people were at the station, so it was easy to find an open phone…he put in some change (his cell was dead and wouldn't have had service anyway)…then he called Akihiko.

_Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…"Hello."_ Akihiko's voice alone sent chills down Misaki's spine, he was quiet for only a moment, "Hey, Its Misaki…I'm catching the next train…"

To Be Continued.

* * *

A/N: the song is called 'Nee' by Maiko Fujita…it is the opening theme for Hiiro no kakera season 1. I love this song…sooooooo much…please listen to it when you get to the part where Misaki sings it…sorry it has taken me so long to write…but I only have 2 tests left…one on the 10th and on the 12th wish me luck!


	17. Chapter 17: Giving In

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

**Giving In**

_I cannot stand this distance any longer,_

_I refuse to be stuck on this side of the glass,_

_Staring at you, but unable to touch you,_

_Burn me…so that I may feel…_

_Like you are close once again._

* * *

"What happened Misaki? I thought you weren't returning until tomorrow evening." Akihiko was desperately trying to keep his composure. Just the sound of Misaki's voice…that beautiful, honey coated voice…nearly knocked the wind out of him when he answered the phone.

"Nothing happened. I…I'm just coming ho—I mean back early. I really have to get my things together anyway. (silence) ah, well, I'll be there shortly…but I may stop somewhere so—" Misaki was cut off.

"You haven't bought your ticket yet have you?" Akihiko's voice was serious, almost stern.

"Ah. No, but—"

"Wait for me. Right where you are. Wait for me Misaki."

"Wait…what are you—"

"I'll be there in 3 hours. Wait for me in front of the center entrance. I'm on my way."

"Hold on! Usagi-san! That's pointless…I was about to get on the train."

"Misaki, just let me come to you…" Akihiko hung the phone up, and began to quickly set his plans in motion.

Misaki just stood there, barely comprehending what had just happened. He heard the phone click before he could even finish speaking, _'wait for me'_, Misaki kept replaying that phrase. His chest was tight, his head was spinning, and he could hardly get his breathing under control.

* * *

_Why? Why is he coming? This doesn't make any sense._

…you know when you see him, it will just make it harder to leave…

_I know! I know! _

…he wants to make you believe, he wants to make you depend on him to come to you…

_No! I don't want that…yes I do…I want to love him…I want to believe he won't abandon me_

…oh, but he will…this is just a whim of his, once he gets bored…you'll be on the first train out of his life…just like when Reece left you behind…don't you remember…are you ready to feel like that again…

_Shit! I never should have let this happen…I should not be falling in love…I know this…but…he makes me fall…every time he looks at me…every time he speaks, I fall._

…poor, poor Misaki…this heart-break might be worse than the last one…think you'll survive it?...

_Most likely not…re-freezing is going to be painful…even more so after a fire as hot as his._

* * *

Three hours ticked by rather quickly. Feeling a little nervous, and kind of out of place, Misaki stood obediently in front of the center entrance.

Akihiko saw Misaki, before the boy even realized he had arrived. His heart raced…pounded with each passing second after catching sight of his new personal obsession.

Misaki was leaning against a dark blue column. His weight rested on his left leg. Akihiko's eyes slowly traveled along the boy's body as he approached.

The setting sun…once again was illuminating Misaki perfectly, it was so beautiful surrounding him…it was almost blinding.

_Thump. Thump._

That silky chestnut brown hair…falling in a haphazard manner over Misaki's face.

_Thump. Thump_

The quick flicker of emerald green emerging from down-trodden eyelids.

_Thump. Thump._

The glimmer of pale skin showing under the black button up t-shirt, with the top two buttons un-done.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

His slim, skillful fingertips clutching a book of poetry in one hand…the other hidden in his pocket.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

His thick thighs and toned calves hidden under deep, dark blue jeans.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

* * *

Misaki was lost in his world of poetry, when he heard familiar footsteps coming close. Part of him was trembling in anticipation…part shaking in fear…part quaking with desire…part searing with agony…it was overwhelming. Then he lifted his green eyes to meet those violet eyes that he knew would be his undoing.

Black dress shoes, clicking on the marble floor.

*breath hitched*

Long legs enveloped in perfectly fitting denim.

*fist clenches in pocket, book in other hand is lowered slowly*

Broad shoulders, muscular chest, toned abdomen…long warm arms…concealed by a white long-sleeve button up, top button undone – barely revealing Akihiko's hot pale skin.

*Heart races, body trembles*

Then he saw them…those god-forsaken amethyst eyes…the eyes that seem to reach into his soul…steal his breath…and squeeze his heart mercilessly.

* * *

The sudden rush of intensity that consumed these two lovers in that moment was strong enough to cause a typhoon in each one of them. As soon as he was close enough, Akihiko reached out and took Misaki by the hand.

"Ah. Um, Usagi…" Misaki's entire body shook, the fire from his hand was quickly taking over his icy body.

"Run." Akihiko said. He began to quicken his pace, dragging Misaki along with him. Two quick turns and a flight of stairs later…they were both entering a train, with only seconds to spare.

Both men were panting. Misaki was so confused. He had no idea what train they were on, or where they were going…and he still didn't know why Akihiko had come all that way for nothing. He turned around after catching his breath to ask some questions, but he was taken by surprise.

Akihiko pulled Misaki into a tight embrace, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I almost broke my promise."

"Huh? What are you sorry for? I'm the one who should apologize…why did you—"

"Come all the way here?" Akihiko finished his sentence. "I won't give you up Misaki. Not to anyone. I will never let you go, and I will never abandon you. Do you remember when I told you that?"

"Mm." Misaki couldn't move, and he couldn't speak…he felt like if he opened his mouth in that moment, his heart would surely beat right out of it.

"If I didn't come, you would have never believed in me…I'll work things out with your brother…please…forgive me…stay with me Misaki." Akihiko's voice was dripping with desperation. It was almost enough to break Misaki down, right there.

"Akihiko…I…I can't fall in love with you…why…why do you insist on me…I don't understand." Misaki shut his eyes tight, trembling…waiting…for an answer.

"Do you want to know Misaki?" Akihiko pushed gently on Misaki's shoulders, leaning him back just enough so that their gazes would meet. Misaki just nodded in agreement.

"Then stay with me. Let me show you." Akihiko peered into those emerald eyes, trying to find some hint of confirmation.

_Ahhh…this is going to hurt like hell later…_"Ok." That was all Misaki could get out.

* * *

With that one word…that small answer…Misaki was quickly dragged into a private sleeper car. It was no longer sunset…it was dusk…and the sky was darkening by the second. He heard the sound of the compartment door shutting…and he could no longer find the resolve to stop himself.

Misaki turned himself around and gripped onto the sleeve of Akihiko's shirt. Then his pressed his lips to his…letting the fire take him over. Akihiko quickly responded. He wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, and pulled him into him. Their tongues clashing rapidly, the heat between them building; Misaki, without breaking the passionate kiss, pressed forward…causing Akihiko to land on the bed, taking him down too.

They were now in the middle of the train car bed; the silk white sheets rippling and curling beneath them. Akihiko was sitting up with Misaki straddling his lap. Akihiko slid his hand into Misaki's soft hair, and tugged…breaking the kiss and causing Misaki to throw his head back and moan. He slowly released his grip, and he watched has Misaki brought his face back down to him. He gently pressed his forehead onto Akihiko's and brought one hand to the author's face.

* * *

"I shouldn't be doing this," Misaki whispered, his lips only centimeters away from Akihiko's, "I shouldn't be falling in love with you…do you know what will happen, if you ever stop loving me?" Misaki slowly brought his lips to meet Akihiko's…he planted a soft, gentle, fleeting kiss on those fiery lips he loved so much. Akihiko's warm breath tickled the skin on his face…

"I will disappear

*kiss*

…evaporate…

*kiss*

I will no longer have the strength to breathe Akihiko

*kiss*

If I love you…and lose you

*kiss*

Do you understand?" Misaki pressed fervently on Akihiko's lips this time, trying desperately to convey his fear, and longing into him.

* * *

"Misaki, I love you…I will never not love you…I know it's hard to believe me…but (Akihiko pulled his head back, so that their eyes would meet) I can no longer exist without you…I won't let you disappear…or evaporate…I will spend the rest of my life giving you the strength to breathe…if you will let me love you."

Tears slowly began to drip down Misaki's face, causing the moonlight to twinkle against the glistening surface of his deep green eyes. Akihiko moved his hand softly over the cool skin of Misaki's bare arm, bringing it up to caress the young boy's face. He gently used his thumb to interrupt the stream of tears on one side. Then Misaki spoke, in a low...sincere...almost painful voice...

"I love you…I love you so much it hurts…

-Misaki closes his eyes-

You burn me…set my entire world ablaze…

-slightly turns his head into Akihiko's hand-

Never, have I ever, been so overwhelmingly enchanted…

-begins to brush his lips against Akihiko's palm-

You make me dizzy…

*gentle kiss*

You make my heart race, to the point where I feel my chest can no longer contain it…

*kisses only centimeters higher*

Everything about you makes me want to love you with everything I am…

*plants several small kisses up the length of Akihiko's index finger, then turns his eyes to Akihiko's and brings his own hand to grasp the one still lingering on his face…Misaki then slowly places his fingertips against those of Akihiko's*

Akihiko…with these hands…hold me…love me…change my mind…because I love you…so, so much…and I can't stop myself anymore."

* * *

Without another thought, another word, Akihiko quickly pressed his face forward claiming Misaki's lips with his own. His heart was numb, his mind foggy, his body quaking…he knew he would never love like this again…that no matter how many days passed, that he would never love anyone else the way he loved Misaki at that very moment.

To Be Continued.

* * *

A/N: AHHHH! I AM THE MOST TERRIBLE AUTHOR EVER! I know…first it was finals, then the holidays, then my dang internet screwed up…but I am back…soooooooo sorry…please forgive me and continue to read and review…thanks so much…and yes a hot and steamy sex scene is coming…be prepared :)


End file.
